Maelstrom 11 Proposal
by illmatar
Summary: Part of Maelstrom Series! FLUFF! Warning: Some references to sex, and BAD HUMOR Marissa finally makes her move on Ultra Magnus. TF spends 1st days as a human story, I maybe did it first but not best!
1. Chapter 1

Maelstrom Chapter 23  
Proposal PART A 

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

This scene contains strong language and Dubious Humor. IT CONTAINS SOME MAJOR DEVELOPMENTS BETWEEN CHARACTERS BUT IS GENERALLY A FLUFF SCENE.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored!**

Proposal

Marissa scowled at her computer screen again, as if it was to blame for the information, or rather the lack of information it was giving her. It wasn't though. For once, the computer records she was after were actually ones she was entitled to have. They weren't even encrypted except with the most basic of privacy blocks.

On the surface, Private Ellington had been nothing but a model soldier. Never late. Never insubordinate. Flawless.

Too flawless. Flawless the same way her Converted CO was flawless.

Marissa repressed the sick disgust which rose in her stomach every time she encountered that particular kind of flawlessness and the unnatural cheating of death it represented. She had never before dreamed she would think of death and decay as wholesome, but watching a Jabez manufactured microchip walk around wearing her CO's body had changed her view of death forever. When her body died, she wanted it to lie down please.

Yes, Ellington was a flawless worker of course. CV's didn't screw up, couldn't forget anything, and didn't have pride or feelings to bruise. In a twisted way, Marissa could see why the Jabez and their clients liked CV's - they certainly did cut down on labor negotiations and complaints about working conditions. Unfortunately, Ellington was flawless enough to become a courier for many EDC documents and trusted enough to have access to EDC's communications center here on Cybertron. He wasn't in charge of it of course, but he was there... with all of his unknown, unknowable skills no REAL EDC Private would have. Skills no human would have. Photographic memory was a given, anti-encryption programs were extremely likely - maybe even enough so that even if he merely glanced at a file encrypted in code, he could remember it well enough to translate....not that with Jabez decoding programming he probably had to wait long. Very likely, Ellington had broken EDC's most advanced codes within moments after reading them and had complete access to their entire network from this center. Hacking into EDC's central computers on Earth was supposed to be impossible, but Marissa had little doubt the species which created HUMANITY would have any trouble with human-designed security systems, especially since their agent was basically a walking computer himself.

And then again... he might have not even needed to translate the codes since Rodimus had already uncovered several VERY high ranking officers and government officials who had been Converted for an undetermined length of time... Marissa trembled and tried not to think about how much of Earth's governmental systems might be nothing more than Jabez manipulation tactics...

It was better to focus on Ellington - his existence was hard to swallow, but at least she could conceivably DO something about it.

Two years. Two years that "man" had worked for EDC.

He'd been there, in EDC's communication center even before Rodimus had returned home with Lancer. And who knew how many sensitive files he had seen, memorized, and reported in that time...?

Reported to whom?

Why?

What would "they" make of it anyway?

Marissa rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on.

And in those two years, the only thing anyone had ever complained about Private Ellington wasn't in EDC's personnel records. No. You had to talk to people to find out that the only thing he did they didn't care for was refuse to sleep with them.

Yes siree. Private Ellington was one popular guy here at Central. Handsome. That's what he was. Flawless, like his record. There was a picture of him in his file. Yup. Smooth, dark hair. Good bones - perfectly symmetrical of course. Very nice build. Charismatic eyes that were exactly the same color as cinnamon, surrounded by very black lashes, and flawless, creamy skin. Skin like a baby's, soft and new. The women he worked with always spoke of him with a sigh, and asked Marissa if she knew what had happened to him.

When she told them he was dead, several broke out into tears.

It annoyed and saddened her, but she couldn't exactly tell them that he'd always been dead.  
None of this was what she'd needed, though. Marissa needed to find out what he'd been doing on his off time, and for all the willing partners, he didn't seem to be associating with any of his coworkers after hours.

Marissa glared at her computer screen again, and decided to give up on the computer records. It...he...would have made sure to leave no suspicious records. She was better off going back to EDC headquarters and asking around some more. Before she shut it down though, she looked at Ellington's face again, and shuddered.

If she had passed him on the street, he probably would have seemed a little familiar to her, as if she'd known him. No doubt, his face would have lingered in her thoughts a few days while she tried to place it. No doubt she would have failed, and forgotten. Now though, now she knew where she'd seen that face before, and it didn't take much imagination to place it.

Private Charles Ellington, supposedly born in New Jersey had actually been a local boy here on Cybertron. Same wide face. Same angular eyes. No. Marissa didn't have to work hard to recognize Astrotrain.

She shuddered. Rodimus guessed Astrotrain had been made human around the same time he had, although he didn't remember seeing the Con there. They had even reluctantly contacted Shellshock to ask him. Shellshock had said nothing for several seconds, the closest he ever came to showing emotion, and then said he remembered nothing either. This wasn't what disturbed Marissa though. What disturbed her was Astrotrain's effect on his female co-workers. She saw the same stamp on Rodi's face, and on Shellshock's.

Marissa analyzed as she always did. It was hard not to notice Rodimus under any circumstances - even as an Autobot, his personality was charming, but Marissa knew he would always seem like the boy next door to her. He was not, and never would be, her type, and yet she had been totally disarmed by him the first day she met him as a human. Carly had warned her he was handsome, something Marissa had found odd in itself until she realized he had the same effect on Carly. THAT realization had startled her, because Carly was nothing if not totally devoted to Spike. Marissa had never seen Carly so much as glance at another man. If Rodimus was aware of any of this, he gave no sign, but then he was so focused on his injured mate and his daughter that Marissa wasn't surprised.

It wasn't until she met Shellshock, briefly, that Marissa REALLY began to get suspicious though. Shellshock was definitely NOT her type. She had never known Goldbug that well, but she had to admit he sort of annoyed her. At least Rodimus had the excuse of actually BEING very young. Goldbug just acted it. As a human, he was the kind of man she always wanted to pin down and shave. He paid no attention whatsoever to his appearance, and his hair and beard were so unkempt that he seemed like some kind of hermit who had lived in a cave for decades. Not her type. They hadn't done more than exchange awkward greetings, and she could see that he had locked his emotions down so deep he might as well have been Converted. She felt sorry for him, but she didn't like him. Maybe she would learn to if she got to know him better, but those few minutes certainly weren't enough for that. He was definitely not her type....and yet her body had responded to those few moments with an insistence she still couldn't believe.

Therefore she didn't believe it, and now that she was investigating Astrotrain she was reminded forcibly of those moments and her very blatant physical reaction. Astrotrain had apparently had a similar effect on those around him, and Marissa was far too suspicious to call it coincidence. The Jabez had designed the entire human race. They knew what they were doing when they made these Transformers too desirable to be ignored.

The only question was why, but Marissa didn't need to look farther than Edana's sweet little face for an answer. Already a powerful empath, and possessing eyes that saw not light, but most of the rest of the energy spectrum, Edana was a marketable commodity at less than a year old. Marissa knew mutants tended to grow in strength as they got older. If she turned out to be even half as powerful as her mother, Edana would be a target all her life. For whatever reason, the Jabez wanted mutants, and Rodimus had proven that the Autobots they tampered with could be successful sires.

Marissa doubted the Astrotrain Convert had been idle during his two years as Private Ellington. She just couldn't figure out who he'd been with. Apparently his programing had prevented him from taking up openly with any of his co-workers - perhaps to avoid calling attention to himself, or perhaps for other reasons. Searching his quarters had proven frustratingly unhelpful, but they HAD found one of the Jabez's bio-scanners. Maybe it was just that none of his co-workers had what HE was looking for in a woman...the potential to breed mutants.

Marissa sighed, and straightened her back painfully. She got up, poured herself some coffee, and went over to the window to think. Were they out there, these women he had found suitable? Did they love him? How had he gone about seducing them anyway? Had it been purely based on the powerful sexual aura the Jabez had given him, or had it been an emotional manipulation as well? Certainly, such manipulation would have made it less likely the women would have gotten abortions. He might have promised to marry them, or at least support them. Then again, he might have just lulled them into complacency and Converted them....

Marissa shuddered again, having a sudden vivid vision of thousand of women, strapped to tables to be raped by some cold machine, impregnated, give birth, and be impregnated again. Assembly line breeding with the babies branded with serial numbers and lobotomized as they drew their first breath. Such visions were coming to her more and more these days - ever since she had heard a terrified Quintisson tell Rodimus humans were Jabez constructs even as Transformers were. It had made her cynical towards her own kind, and distant from her family. Sometimes she wondered if she would ever look in the mirror and simply see Marissa again. These days she wondered where HER serial number was stamped.

She sighed. She had let all of this pressure build up too long. She needed to release it. She needed to talk to someone, but recent revelations had forced her to draw away from her usual outlet, and yet she didn't have the heart to replace him.

That meant all that she did was work. Embedded up to her eyeballs in shipping logs, slave runners, and now the life and times of Astrotrain-Man of the Year, she almost never had a non-Jabez related thought. No wonder she saw them everywhere. However, it was either that or think about her other Big Unsolvable Problem - namely Ultra Magnus.

DEFINITELY her type.  
Shit.

These last few months since she had become aware of THAT little dilemma had only served to make her more convinced and more depressed that the only man she would ever love wasn't a man at all, and had turned every minute she spent with him into a bitter-sweet form of torture she could scarcely endure.

She had just made up her mind to start avoiding him when Optimus had put Magnus in charge of everything while he, Elita, and Jazz herded Rodi onto a shuttle for the big confrontation with Lancer. Those few days had been a terror for both of them, while ALL of the others were stupidly on one vulnerable shuttle. She hadn't left his side.

Then word came back of Lancer's nearly fatal injury, Rodi's weakened state, and Edana. Marissa had again stayed nearby while they waited nervously between bits of uncertain news. Magnus had pretended to work, and pretended to be angry with Rodimus for "causing so much trouble again." Even if Marissa hadn't already known better, she would have realized how worried Magnus was when he paced his office for hours and said "I'll be damned if I'm going to speak TWICE at that boy's funeral!" She had fought back tears then, aching for him and loving him. She knew he didn't know how else to deal with his fears, and she knew he would have done anything to help Rodimus if only he knew how.

News that Rodimus had returned to human form had startled Magnus, and saddened Marissa in a way she had no name for. It wasn't jealousy exactly - she didn't begrudge Rodimus and Lancer anything - but she understood Rodi's need to be physically close to Lancer in spite of a mental bond which others could only speculate about. They were linked so closely Optimus told Magnus that he wouldn't be surprised if Rodimus died when Lancer did - and yet Rodimus still felt a compelling need to be able to hold Lancer's hand.

Marissa understood THAT only too well.  
Feeling such despair, nothing could have surprised Marissa more than when Lancer not only woke up, but agreed, however reluctantly, to stay.

It was only then that news of the baby really began to sink in, especially when Magnus came back from a meeting with Optimus claiming that not only was Rodi one-hundred percent improved, but also to have met Lancer and Edana. He had gone on about the baby for a surprisingly long time - her smile seemed to have made quite an impression, and Marissa had felt compelled to see for herself. She was curious anyway, but was more so because she knew it took something REALLY out of the ordinary to get Ultra Magnus in such a stew. Carly's nervous request for back-up had supplied a handy excuse, and Marissa finally got to meet the woman they had sought so long.

Edana, when she had finally been brought to see them, DID have a stunning smile, but Marissa's most vivid impressions of the day were of Rodi's interactions with his mate. It had been so long since Marissa had seen him without pain that she nearly didn't recognize him - human form not withstanding. He touched Lancer frequently, casually, in a way robots almost never did, since physical interaction played far less of a role in their lives. Still, he had somehow mastered the unspoken language of human contact and employed it with Lancer completely unselfconsciously. That, coupled with his Jabez-induced sexual magnetism, and Magnus' presence in the room had left Marissa one very frustrated woman. For one insane, guilty moment, she wished the Jabez on Magnus, and then spent days afterwards berating her self for selfish, sick dreams.

At the time, she was only glad Carly still seemed to be nearly panicked by Lancer, and that Lancer herself was a bit overwhelmed by Rodi's presence. Neither noticed Marissa was fairly climbing the walls - if anything they chalked her agitation up to her encounter with Talon. Magnus, of course, wouldn't have known what he was seeing even if he HAD noticed something, the ignorant bastard.

Damn him.

She found it harder and harder to react to him as she used to all the time, and she knew, from the way he would start to ask her something and then falter and change what he was about to say, that Magnus was aware something was different. When they were working, it was fine, but the silences between them were no longer comfortable. Instead they looked awkwardly for things to say. Marissa felt her love for him straining their friendship, and it frightened her. She couldn't bear the idea of losing what little she had of him, and his friendship was more than precious to her, it was essential.

Her spacious office suddenly seemed constraining, and before she knew it, Marissa found herself roaming the halls of Central aimlessly, looking at her feet and brooding.

Elita saw her pass by and called out to her, only to be ignored. Elita got up and followed Marissa for several yards before the EDC Captain took notice of her - no small feat since Elita was not exactly inconspicuous even if she didn't live up to Rodi's standard of blaring color.

"Oh! Hi Elita!" Marissa said, startled, and trying unsuccessfully to hide it.

"You are troubled, Captain," Elita said. It was a statement, not a question.

"Yeah, well, its just the usual," Marissa said.

Elita cocked her head at the small being before her. She'd seen Marissa deal with "the usual" and had made a point of studying Marissa during the time they'd worked together. In Elita's admittedly limited experience, Marissa dealt with "the usual" with efficient action honed by a very real, but quiet anger and disgust at their enemies. Namely, Marissa pored all her energy into stabbing at the slavers she was assigned to search for by pointing them out to Rodimus, and making sure he never lacked for a target. Wandering the halls in a daze wasn't exactly getting anything done, and Elita suspected that this was more personal than any Jabez menace.

In Elita's mind, that meant this had to do with Ultra Magnus. The same Ultra Magnus who sometimes couldn't help but ask Elita if she knew why Marissa was avoiding him. He clearly didn't like saying anything, but he was worried, and since he had asked her more than once, Elita guessed he was very worried indeed. She decided maybe it was time to say something before two people she cared about really DID have something to worry about.

"Let's talk," Elita said, and before Marissa could say a word of protest, Optimus' mate had scooped her off the floor and was heading towards the quarters she shared with Prime. Marissa was too startled to argue about the liberties being taken with her person or the location of this "talk."

Optimus wasn't home of course. Marissa doubted these quarters saw their occupants much more than Magnus' did. At least THESE rooms actually did look like someone visited occasionally in the sense that Marissa could see Prime and Elita had gone to the trouble of seeing that it looked comfortable should they have time to actually spend some time there. There were a few personal items in addition to the Autobot-sized furniture. It was clean and spacious - unlike Jazz's quarters which were packed to the ceiling with odd human items - including a jukebox, a '67 Chevy, and the sign to a drive-in movie theater, and Rodimus' which resembled a day-care center lately with all the stuff he had gotten for Edana (much of which she was still too young for.) Magnus', of course, looked exactly like his office. He didn't live in them - he worked in them.

Elita opened her hand so that Marissa could step onto the table with some measure of dignity.

"Marissa," Elita said before the Captain could start being evasive, "there is a great burden on you heart, and it has nothing to do with 'the usual'. We are, all of us, under too much strain already for that."

"No, Elita...really. It's just the whole Jabez-human race thing that's got me upset. I'll learn to deal with it, but it really bothers me," Marissa said.

"No doubt it does, but that is not the reason you have been avoiding Ultra Magnus," Elita said, with a gentle, compassionate smile. The way Elita saw it, this little charade had gone on long enough and she might as well get right to the heart of things before clever Marissa muddied the waters of truth too much for even Elita to navigate.

Marissa gaped uselessly. She tried for several moments to come to terms with the idea someone had even noticed, and then was side-swiped again by the idea that Magnus might have noticed.

"Uh....hu....How?!" she finally managed.

"Oh, little things," Elita said, "But mostly the fact that he's asked me if I thought you were angry with him. He's afraid he's done something wrong Marissa."

"N..No! He hasn't done anything wrong b...but...!"

"Except perhaps that's the problem?" Elita asked, ducking her head down lower to meet Marissa's down-turned eyes. "He doesn't do enough wrong?"

Marissa stared up at Elita. She had never felt so terrified in her life as she met those too wise, too insightful optics. Marissa suddenly felt completely out-matched, like her entire soul was made of clear glass for Elita to peer into and explore at will. She would have given anything at that moment to be as far away from this ancient, sage being as possible.

"Marissa....it's not his fault you're in love with him," Elita said.

Marissa came completely undone, although Elita just smiled a little sadly and didn't act surprised. She waited patiently for Marissa to cry some of the pain away. When the worst of the fit had passed, Elita got down on her knees and rested her elbows on the table.

"It's not your fault either..." Elita whispered when she was sure Marissa was calm enough to hear her.

"I can't help it Elita!" Marissa cried, a little defensively. It was not what she intended to say. She meant to laugh, to deny Elita's obvious knowledge somehow...but the feelings she had been trying so hard to smother erupted forth. She had told herself to stop loving him a thousand times, and the same response had always gone screaming through her soul. She couldn't help it. She wanted to, but she couldn't, and that response was past her lips even as she tried to concoct an answer to throw Elita off the trail.

Somehow, in spite of Elita's obvious compassion, Marissa couldn't believe the Autobot wasn't condemning her the way she condemned herself.

Elita shook her head. "Of course you can't. No more than I can help loving Orion, or Lancer can help loving Rodi...for all that she says she shouldn't....and Marissa, if Lancer can't out-stubborn her own heart, no one can, and here she is. It is not a question of no longer loving him. It is a question of what you intend to do about it."

"What can I do? We CAN'T be together!" Marissa cried.

Elita sighed. She heard the despair in Marissa's assertion and understood it, but she knew Marissa's current course of inaction would do more harm than good. Elita felt for Marissa, and Magnus as well. This wouldn't be easy for them no matter what happened, but Elita was keenly aware of how precariously the survival of two worlds balanced on the strength of the council. They couldn't afford this rift between two members. It was sure to get wider as the distance Magnus sensed led to resentment, and one secret led to another. The awkwardness between them was already bothering Magnus, and occupying his thoughts when he should have been concentrating on his duties. Marissa was no longer sharing Anything that bothered her with anyone. Sooner or later, one of them would crack or make a mistake, and it might easily cost them all everything.

"Perhaps not," Elita finally said, "but that really isn't the point is it? The point is, is that if you care about him you owe it to him to be honest with him. He's hurt. He thinks you are rejecting him, and he doesn't deserve that."

"I...I CAN'T tell him Elita! I just can't!" Marissa said.

"Why not?" Elita asked, although she suspected she knew.

"It will come between us! We're friends, and I want to stay friends! If I tell him, things will never be the same again!" Marissa said. It was perfectly easy for her to picture Magnus laughing scornfully at her for being presumptuous, or raging at her, or never speaking to her again - things her rational mind knew he'd never do, but her terrified heart couldn't let go of.

"Marissa! You know better than that! Besides....hasn't it come between you already?" Elita asked gently. "If it hasn't, why is he worried?"

Marissa gave a sigh that was half-sob, "I'm scared Elita," she admitted softly. It was a hard admission for a person who's fundamental nature was self-reliance.

"I know. But I don't think its all as bad as it seems. I've known Magnus a very long time Marissa, and I know he cares for you...deeply. If he didn't, he wouldn't even bother to ask a third person about you. He wouldn't worry that you're upset. And yet he has come to me more than once asking if I thought he had done something wrong to you. He's even come to me with examples of times he thinks he might have offended you somehow. I've NEVER known him to do that before! He's looking for answers."

"I...I don't want him to be in love with me..." Marissa said through a constrained throat. "It hurts too much!"

"Do you think I don't know that kind of pain, Captain? I know it hurts. I know how impossible and painful this must seem to you, but you can't give up, and you can't go on evading Magnus! Things have a way of working out , Marissa. I think perhaps you are deliberately blinding yourself to some of the possibilities before you because you can't bear to think about them," Elita said.

"What possibilities!? It's not like I can become an Autobot! Or like he can become human!" Marissa snapped, more harshly than she intended.

Elita didn't say anything. She just smiled.

"Well?!" Marissa said, "It's true isn't it?"

Elita just cocked her head, and waited.

Marissa gaped up at the femme leader. "Isn't it?" she finally squeaked.

"I had a very interesting conversation with Perceptor the other day," Elita said, looking off into the distance as if she hadn't heard Marissa at all. "Quite a change from our usual conversations, by the way. He does go on doesn't he? I asked if he thought that Rodi's transformation chamber would work on anyone, or just Rodimus. He said that Goldbug and Astrotrain were evidence that Rodi's condition was not unique. Since Astrotrain managed to shift back to his robot mode the way Rodimus does, Perceptor speculates Shellshock could do it too, if only he were willing to try. Perceptor then went on to say that someday others might attempt the same thing...if they had a good reason to WANT to be human, that is. He couldn't think of any, of course."

Elita wondered, privately, if Marissa knew just how far the Autobot could see down her throat.

"but...." Marissa stammered," But...."

"I'm very fond of Ultra Magnus," Elita went on, again as though Marissa hadn't said a word. "I've often wished one of my femmes was suited for him. Unfortunately, Neon was about the best there was to offer, and that's not saying much I'm afraid. Poor Magnus. He's been lonely so long, I don't think he even knows what loneliness is. It is such a fundamental part of his life he doesn't recognize it. He deserves to be happy don't you think?"

"I...but...." Marissa wheezed in shock.

"So do you, Captain. Now go talk to him before he figures it out for himself or gets hurt enough by your 'rejection' to really be angry."

"But...I...!" Marissa said.

"You have to go now? I understand. Here, I'll take you outside. Optimus is coming home soon, and we actually plan on spending some time together. Isn't it amazing how things just worked out for us? Millions of years apart, but it all came out just fine. And Rodi and Lancer too! After all they both went through, and all that deliberate TRYING to destroy their own relationship, it still survived! They're both assassins and they can't even kill off their own friendship. Astounding! Happiness crops up in the oddest places, don't you think? Well, tell Magnus I said hello. It's been nice talking to you Marissa!" Elita said. With that, she deposited the astounded EDC Captain in the hall, turned on her heel, and left Marissa standing there as the door closed.

Marissa was so disoriented she had to turn in a complete circle twice to get her bearings, but once she got oriented she found she knew right where she was headed.

Ultra Magnus heard the chime at his door and sourly asked, "Who is it?" He was in a rotten mood, which was actually a step up from his mood that morning. If things continued to go smoothly today, he figured he might make it all the way up to crabby by that evening. No doubt whoever darkened his door was no one he wanted to talk to. At best, it would be Jazz with more wretched sensor readings to decipher.

"It's Marissa."

Magnus was surprised. It had been months since Marissa had just appeared at his door. He'd seen her often enough, but only for scheduled meetings. A little nervous, he scanned her (MORE than half expecting positive readings) opened his door and saw her standing there. He could see she was fairly seething with repressed energy.

"HI!" she said.

"Err...hi?" Magnus said. She had a very nervous grin on her face and he didn't know what to make of it.

"Can I come in?" she said.

"Since when do you have to ask?" Magnus said. He meant to sound casual, but he was hurt, and it showed a little. He mentally kicked himself when he saw Marissa's smile falter slightly. When had things gotten so clumsy between them? He picked her up and carried her to his desktop as if things were normal though.

"I have something I want to talk to you about, Magnus," Marissa said.

She was doing a lot of stating the obvious today, Magnus mused, and he wondered why she was dancing around the subject like this instead of just blurting out what she wanted like she usually did. He opted to stand. Any degree of agitation on his part made sitting an impossibility.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Well, um....you see, I think sometimes, well, I think sometimes things would go...err...more smoothly...um...between humans and Autobots that is...." Marissa started.

Magnus just widened his optics a bit when she faltered and coughed.

"Well, um...don't you think Rodi understands humans better now that he's actually been one for a while?"

Magnus was having a hard time getting a handle on this conversation, but he could find no flaws in her reasoning so far, in spite of the totally alien lack of forthrightness in her manner. "In so much as he understands anything I suppose," Magnus said.

"You're still mad at him for transferring Neon to Metroplex? Hey! Stand still. Magnus, it's time to move on, not move around when I'm trying to talk to you! Now then, in that regard, I think maybe you could use, well, a change. You know, get some new experiences," Marissa said.

She was sweating. SWEATING! Magnus was so disoriented by that observation he scarcely heard her, but after the Neon experience, he waited until he went back and thought about what she'd said before responding.

"Marissa? Is this leading up to something?" he asked. He didn't care to point out that all that had happened since Rodimus had returned home human added up to more new experiences than he ever wanted in a lifetime. There were some days the exhaustion made him wish Rodimus hadn't made it home, and that they'd all lived in happy ignorance until the Jabez came to collect them.

"Um yes well you see I thought you might like to try going human for a while," she finally blurted.  
Fortunately, Magnus had had Blurr under his direct command for centuries and had no trouble translating what she'd said. UNDERSTANDING it was a different matter entirely.

"WHAT?! MARISSA! What in the universe could make me want to do that?!" Magnus cried, noting even as he ranted how pale she was.

"Well, I think it might be good for you to understand us better," she said.

"I never USED to have trouble understanding you Marissa," he thought in sad confusion. Aloud he only said, "Marissa you can't be serious."

"And it's important for people to have new experiences," Marissa went on in a rush. He sensed somehow she was unable to stop now no matter what. What the hell was going on in her mind?

"Yes, but really Marissa...!" he tried to interrupt.

"And I can't kiss you from down here stupid!" she finished, meeting his eyes and staring into them with terror, and...and.....

Magnus stared down at her, his soul frozen by her eyes. Her words had stunned him, but those eyes and all the emotion she was throwing at him completely short-circuited his view of the universe.

He didn't remember trying to sit down or missing the chair. All he knew was that when some kind of recognizable thought patterns began jelling in his mind again he was optic to eye with her where she stood on his desk. He could see her trembling with hope and fear but he was still speechless. The ironic part (the small bit of him which was actually capable of coherent thought noted) was that above and beyond the stunning realization that she loved him, and the even more stunning realization that he found that he reciprocated the feeling, was that what he felt the most was overwhelming relief she wasn't angry with him! All of the awkwardness had a clear and positive origin, and it wasn't until this moment he realized exactly how much her friendship meant to him.

That was how he knew exactly how deep his feelings for her ran...and here he had been worrying because there wasn't an AUTOBOT female he thought of everyday. He thought about Marissa, well, pretty much all of the time now didn't he?

And to think he'd been bitter that there weren't enough femmes...that none of them were suited for him. None were intelligent enough, none were strong enough to deal with the chaos this dirty little war had wrought in his life...and here was a female who'd been in it with him since almost the start. The one person he leaned on when he needed to. The person he'd been missing so badly just because she wasn't spending quite so much time with him.

She wasn't angry with him! She loved him! She wanted him to be closer, not the other way around! No wonder she was so nervous!

In a flare of compassion, he realized how hard all of this must have been (and still was!) on her.

All these thoughts muddled their way through the traffic jam of his mind while he stared at her. Whatever his thoughts might have been, the look on his face was one of childish consternation. Marissa was clearly beginning to panic.

"Magnus..! I...I'm sorry! PLEASE say something....!"

He heard her, but his mind was still too busy with other things to compose an answer right away. It wasn't until she actually turned to leave that Magnus' mouth caught up with his thoughts.

"I'll talk to Rodimus about it in the morning," he whispered.

Later on, Magnus would only be able to shake his head at himself for not figuring his own feelings out sooner. He didn't understand how he could have missed it, since it felt so good to make her happy.

Rodimus was in a miserable mood as he flopped down at his desk just in time for his morning shift. He wouldn't have minded so much about going on duty, except that he had not yet gone off duty in three days except to recharge for a few hours each day. (Recharging was now a practice he followed carefully. He STILL didn't do it a much as he should, but he managed to pacify his friends, and mostly his mate with regular, if brief, visits to his recharging chamber.) His mate couldn't say too much this time though, since she had been with him the last two nights.

She was every bit as tired and cranky as he was, and he pitied her doctors if they made a fuss over her swollen shoulder. She was out of the cast, but she was supposed to be pampering that arm. The doctor would probably accuse her of lifting something heavy by herself, and Rodimus wondered what he would say if they knew she what HAD been doing with it. Crawling on it, climbing with it, fighting with it, and, oh yeah, one really nice series of hand-springs.

In other words, Lancer and Rodimus had been on their first assassination mission together the night before last, and their second had just ended. Rodimus couldn't help but smile a little - they made a pretty good team - not that he had ever doubted they would. Together, they had dealt with one of the more productive slave rings here on Cybertron. Rodimus hadn't dared tackle them alone since some of their CV guards were Class 3 telekinetics. Not top of the line CV's to be sure, but still enough to splatter him all over the wall even in robot form. He couldn't risk the chance of exposure. The slavers had equip these "men" with conventional blasters though - probably only for the sake of appearances - but the weapons carried a full charge.

The CVs' programming was better than some, but it wasn't comprehensive either. They paid no attention to their blasters, or to the low hum they made as Lancer manipulated the energy within them. She even managed to control the reaction so that instead of a loud explosion from the guns, there was merely a contained energy flare. One after the other, the telekinetic guards disintegrated with a burst from their own side-arms.

After that, it was just a matter of time and butchery.

Rodimus was just starting to appreciate the advantages of being able to switch back and forth between human and robot form at will. He could accomplish so much in human form that he never could have pulled off as a robot - sneaking into the installation unnoticed was just the beginning.

Still, he was glad Lancer went with him, and not just because she could help with the killing. He was glad she KNEW what had happened. He was glad she KNEW how he felt about it, and was there to help him deal with it. Marissa would be sure to ask about the "location" later today so that she could check it off her growing list of targets. He would tell her "It's been dealt with," and she would smile with a certain grim satisfaction.

By mutual, unspoken agreement however, she wouldn't ask for details, and he wouldn't offer any. He didn't want to talk about it, and she didn't really want to know.

"Dealt with." What a way to summarize two hours of tense infiltration, twenty minutes of combat during which he was nearly killed twice, and during which he himself killed exactly 47 CV's. Lancer killed 73 CV's. They had taken the slavers hostage, planning to question them as Rodimus had the Quints. One look at Lancer though had several of them convinced "the devil" had come to claim them for their sins. Never ones to waste an opening, Rodi and Lancer had made the most of that idea and had the information they wanted quite quickly - mostly coming down to more names for Marissa's list. They then sent the slavers on to the afterlife - hopefully to meet the devil for real - and spent another few hours fingerprinting and photographing corpses. After that, Lancer once again facilitated things by reducing each corpse to its component elements, and Rodimus could now schedule the building for demolition. All he really needed to do was mention to one of the Paradronian architects that the old building in question was "an eyesore" and he'd have ten different new blueprints to choose from by nightfall, and a new building for Magnus to grumble about by week's end.

The others on the council knew, in general, what "dealt with" meant, but as long as he kept the smile on his face and left it at that, they wouldn't have to dwell on it long. He knew none of them really believed his smile - they knew him too well to fall for his facades - and yet they consented to respect that facade. None of them pried. They knew he wouldn't tell them what had really happened anyway, but very truthfully none of them wanted to know the details.

And why would they? Who wanted to know about naked shaven children who had to be murdered twice to find true death? Who wanted to know about the blood, and the piss, and the shit which followed a night like this? Certainly, no sane person....He was glad they didn't pry. He was glad he could protect them from this much at least.

Still, he was also glad Lancer had been there. He was glad she KNEW. He didn't want her to suffer from these memories, but at the same time he was grateful there was someone who was already past the facade.

Rodimus wasn't sure he could handle being alone in the darkness anymore.

His shift started at 6. At 6:01 there was a knock at his door.

He groaned aloud in dread - a groan which got louder when the scanners revealed Ultra Magnus waiting impatiently outside. Rodi could see the City Commander was having a hard time keeping still even for the few seconds Rodimus made him wait while the scanners checked for Conversion (and Rodi tried to pull himself together). Unusual. Magnus was normally nothing if not too preoccupied with the appearance of absolute calm.

Rodimus scowled - an expression few ever actually saw on his face - but even as Hot Rod he'd had a finely tuned instinct for trouble. Right now that instinct was fairly screaming at him, and he seriously considered pretending he wasn't in. Finally though, he decided whatever had his terse City Commander fretting in the hall was only likely to get worse with time, and was best dealt with as soon as possible.

He expected Magnus to start off by grumbling about the wait.

"Good morning Rodimus!" Magnus said, sounding both pleased with himself and a little nervous. True to form, he didn't sit.

Rodi's instincts suggested going out the window.

"Morning Magnus! Who spiked your energon?" Rodimus said cheerfully. Never let them sense your fear, he thought to himself.

"Marissa actually," Magnus said with a broad smile.

"Ah," Rodimus said, with an actual smile of his own, "Have you and the Captain patched things up then? How much groveling did it take?"

"Not much," Magnus said, ignoring Rodi's jab and setting off more alarms in the young Prime. "She had an idea, and I've decided to take her up on it. I just need some advice on how to go about it."

"Uh-huh," Rodimus said, this time unable to keep the concern out of his voice. Magnus' nervous fretting started getting to him, and he decided to stand up himself.

"Yes, well, um.... I decided I need a vacation," Magnus said.

This statement gave Rodimus quite a turn. Certainly, after all they'd been through recently, Magnus deserved and probably did need some time off, and Rodimus would never dream of denying him. However Magnus deserved and needed time off long before they'd known about the Jabez. Usually though getting Magnus to take off work usually required a direct order - most often from the medical staff. Optimus had given up long ago trying to get his City Commander to take a few days off when there WASN'T an injury involved, and Rodimus remembered his own solitary attempt during his first term as a humiliating defeat.

Now, Magnus was ASKING for time off. Uh-uh. Didn't compute. There had to be more to it than that. Rodimus decided to play it cool.

"I see. OK. Where were you planning on going? Disneyland perhaps?" Rodimus asked casually, with the wry smile Magnus usually brindled at.

"Nowhere actually. What I need to talk to you about is HOW I'm going," Magnus said.

"HOW you're going?" Rodimus asked. The window, something in him shouted, Go for the window!

"Yes," Magnus said, "I'm going to try your little chamber and spend my time off as a human."

Rodimus didn't remember sitting down, but since he cracked his chin on the desk on the way down, he was quite aware that he'd missed his chair completely.

Magnus chuckled a little, and leaned over the desk to look at Rodi. "That's how I responded when she suggested it to me," he said with a grin.

Rodimus sat silently on the floor and panicked.

First, there were all the potential complications and dangers involved with such a profound transformation. There was the inevitable difficult period of adaption which such a change implied and all of the arrangements that would need to be made to accommodate the new human. There were huge risks in security to be considered. Above it all, was the very idea something like this might be attempted for the fun of it! And who was suggesting such a thing? Was it Jazz, the human-lover? Was it Hound, who's desire to be human was commonly known? Was it Grimlock, who was just stupid enough to come up with such an idea? No. It was Ultra Magnus.. Stoic, reliable, cautious Ultra Magnus. Obsessed with his job, never-a-day-off Ultra Magnus.

"Rodimus? Rodimus? Hello?" Magnus said, leaning further forward and waving his hands in front of Rodi's face.

Rodimus didn't move or twitch an optic, so Magnus cheerfully went around the desk to shake Rodi by the shoulder. After a while of that, Rodi still didn't look right at him, but off into space with a sort of delirious horror. Magnus knew he was getting through though because Rodi said, very quietly, "How could you do this to me?"

Continued in Part B.


	2. Chapter 2

Maelstrom Chapter 23  
Proposal PART B 

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

This scene contains strong language and Dubious Humor. IT CONTAINS SOME MAJOR DEVELOPMENTS BETWEEN CHARACTERS BUT IS GENERALLY A FLUFF SCENE.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored!**

"Do what? Rodimus I want to try this. I think some new experiences will be good for me. I think I should try to understand humans better, don't you? And besides...." Magnus paused before finishing THAT sentence.

Rodimus' eyes suddenly focused balefully on his, and glared feverishly at the suddenly nervous City Commander. "And besides WHAT, Ultra Magnus?" Rodimus growled.

"Err....." Magnus said, but knew from the green in Rodi's eyes he'd better answer if he wanted to see the light of day again. "Err....well....I want to spend some time with Marissa."

Rodi's face took on that vacant, horrified look again. "Marissa," he said dreamily, "I should have killed her when I had the chance."

"THAT'S UNCALLED FOR YOU...!" Magnus roared, drawing a hand back.

Rodimus grabbed his arm with those cursed, blinding reflexes, and pinned Magnus to the desk. "SHUT UP! DO YOU HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA WHAT YOU'RE PROPOSING?! THIS ISN'T A GAME MAGNUS! IT ISN'T FUNNY! YOU COULD EASILY DIE OR GO COMPLETELY INSANE DOING THIS! THIS ISN'T A SYNTHOID TRANSFER! IT'S A REAL, ORGANIC HUMAN BODY WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HERE, AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE AGONY YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR!"

"I'm not afraid of pain!" Magnus hissed.

"You don't know what pain is!" Rodi snapped, releasing him. Magnus took a few steps away from his friend and tried to recollect his dignity and his thoughts. He was angry with Rodimus, but he could also see Rodimus was terrified. It wasn't what Magnus had expected in response to his request at all. At most, he'd expected Rodimus to object because they couldn't spare a council member right now, but Magnus was willing to keep working as a human on the things that only required his mind, not his body. He never imagined Rodimus was afraid of being human - the young Prime always made the adjustment seem so effortless. Still, he wasn't about to let that ludicrous statement go unchallenged.

"What are you talking about? Of course I do! I've been a soldier for many times your lifetime Rodi!"

"That's not the point Magnus!" Rodimus snapped, "I've told you before pain as a human is more prevalent! Most of it is right off the scale of anything you could ever possibly have felt! And it doesn't quit! It goes on and on until you want to die just to escape it all...and you can't!"

"Now Rodi..." Magnus started.

"Don't! Don't you dare patronize me Magnus! I know what I'm talking about! You have no basis for comparison!"

Magnus ground his jaw - torn between frustration and compassion. Rodimus seldom mentioned his torture, and even more seldom showed distress as a result of it, but Magnus could see the haunted look in Rodimus' eyes even as he shouted at Magnus.

"Rodimus...I know it won't be easy, but I won't be in Jabez hands....I'll be in yours. I want this Rodi...more than you know."

"You STILL don't know the half of it Magnus! You'll have to learn to eat...!"

"I'll manage."

"You'll have to learn to take care of yourself...."

"I'm sure I will."

"You'll have to deal with using the bathroom - if the disgust alone doesn't kill you first!"

"It was really hard for you wasn't it?" Magnus asked quietly.

Rodi's eyes narrowed. "It's going to be really hard for you too, Magnus."

"You'll help me," Magnus said, again quietly. It was easier to be patient once he realized Rodi was trying to protect him.

"Sure of that are you? What if I refuse?"

"You won't, but I would go ahead with this even if you did. I'm going through with this Rodimus. I want you to help me, but I'm going through with this ," Magnus said. He kept his voice quiet, and he met the fears in Rodi's eyes without flinching.

Rodimus glared at him in refined disgust. "Do you have any idea of the problems this is going to cause? What we're going to have to arrange to accommodate you?"

"No. You owe it to me though."

Rodimus glared again.

"This is by far, the dumbest, most irresponsible, immature, self-centered piece of crap I've ever seen you pull Mags!" Rodimus fumed ineffectively.

"So speaks the expert," Magnus mused. "So tell me, what exactly should I do in preparation for this self-centered piece of crap?"

"Sit down," Rodimus ordered harshly. "I'm going to fill you in on all the fun and excitement you can expect on this little vacation of yours."

Magnus smiled in smug triumph - knowing he'd won - and sat down to listen while Rodimus filled his audio-sensors with one horror story after another. He actually did succeed in adding some qualms to Magnus' decision, but not in changing Magnus' mind. Once Rodimus saw he wasn't reaching the foundation of Magnus' resolve, he sighed, and began a more detailed, but less emotional briefing. In a few hours Magnus' understanding of human physiology went from a sketchy general knowledge to a detailed awareness of the day to day trials of being flesh and blood.

Sometimes Rodimus would pause to think of possible contingencies Magnus might encounter on his first days as a human. Magnus did his best to absorb what Rodimus was telling him, especially when he saw Rodi was really trying to give an accurate account rather than exaggerating to dissuade him.

Hours later, they went together to talk to a dubious Perceptor, but Rodimus made Magnus break things to Optimus alone. If Rodi was hoping the elder Prime would be able to dissuade the City Commander, he was to be disappointed. Optimus had been furiously opposed to the idea from the start until Elita asked to talk to him privately for a few moments. Neither Rodimus nor Magnus would ever know what Elita said to her mate, but when they returned from their chat, she was all smiles, and Optimus grudgingly approved Magnus' leave time.

It took a few days to make all the preparations Rodimus insisted on - starting with exhaustive testing. (Perceptor and First Aid's fretting nearly did what Rodi's horror stories couldn't. After one full day in their hands, Magnus was NEARLY ready to give up, they drove him so crazy. Nearly...not quite.) Rodimus also insisted on very secure housing with a carefully stocked kitchen, etc. etc. Arrangements also had to be made for Kup and Springer to handle Magnus' general duties, and for a special (ie. VERY secure) computer terminal in the new quarters for Magnus to use for his more important duties - such as hunting slavers.

Finally though, they were ready.

Perceptor puttered around and nattered to himself while he studied the monitors. Optimus watched his partner make another circuit of the lab and put a hand out to stop Rodi's fretful pacing. Op's action earned him an evil glare from Rodimus, and Optimus relented. The elder Prime shook his head and watched Rodimus abuse his own hydraulics with nervous energy.

Suddenly, Rodi froze mid-step and tilted his head slightly as though listening to something. He sighed, and slouched against a wall, looking resigned and slightly less tense. Optimus was glad his face plate hid his smile as he recognized the symptoms of a short mental chat with Lancer in his partner's actions. Optimus was grateful for the change in her mate's demeanor and silently thanked her for it. Optimus knew Rodimus was very unhappy about this latest "experiment" but working himself into a frenzy over it solved nothing. The Autobots were under their combined protection and guidance on the battlefield, but this was a matter of personal freedom.

Certainly Magnus the guinea pig was entitled to his first leave in centuries.

Rodi began kicking the wall unhappily and Optimus knew he was torn between worry for his friend, and worry for all those who might follow if the procedure DID succeed and Magnus took to it well. Optimus also knew some part of Rodi felt guilty for not wishing Magnus all the success in the universe. The elder Prime didn't need to be psychic to know what Rodimus was feeling - he felt the same way himself - he just wasn't about to kick the wall over it.

Optimus sighed, and almost wished Perceptor hadn't decided it was safer to slow down the process for Magnus' first attempt. They were all worried about the City Commander's well-being and the few short minutes since he had stepped into the capsule seemed like an eternity already. The monitors finally showed the transition was nearly complete and Rodimus, unwilling role-model for this venture, morphed human. He grabbed a blanket and a large robe as he did so, and waited anxiously by the capsule door.

At long last, the doors automatically unsealed with a hiss, and Rodimus strode inside.

"Magnus?" he called softly, and found the neo-human curled up on the floor. Having a good idea of what his friend was experiencing, Rodimus approached as quickly and quietly as possible. At least Magnus didn't seem to be tearing at his own flesh the way Rodi had when....

Pushing his reservations aside, Rodimus gently draped the robe, then the blanket around Magnus' naked, shuddering body.

"Magnus? Are you still in pain?" Rodimus whispered, praying nothing had gone wrong. There was still so much they didn't understand about this process! "Magnus?" he said again, touching the City Commander's rigid shoulders. Optimus and Perceptor poked their heads in, but Rodimus curtly pointed for them to retreat. Magnus was overwhelmed enough already.

Finally, after Rodimus repeated his question a few more time, Magnus stammered an answer. "N...noo. I d..d..don't think s..so Nn..not any m..more. I...I'm cold."

Rodimus reached out to adjust the blanket further up Magnus' shoulders but stopped when the City Commander's over-sensitive flesh began twitching convulsively in reaction to the contact. Magnus' face showed both confusion and distress.

"Try to relax a little," Rodimus said calmly, "You're fine." He hoped he wasn't lying.

"I..I c.'t h..h..help it," Magnus said.

"I know. I warned you your body wouldn't always be under you're control. Did you think I was kidding?" Rodimus asked. He waited patiently for his friend to adjust a little. "If you can stand, it won't seem so cold," Rodimus said encouragingly.

"I can't," Magnus said. "Something's wrong." He was shivering violently, but didn't know enough to wrap the robe around himself.

Rodimus sighed. "Sit up. Come on. You're shivering because you are cold and in shock. We've got to get you dressed."

"It w..wasn't like this the last t..time," Magnus complained.

"Synthetic bodies don't compare to the real thing. Then, we only looked human. Now we really are. Here. Let me help you sit up."

Magnus gasped in surprise when Rodimus' strong hands grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him back. It didn't hurt exactly, but Magnus was stunningly aware of each finger where it pressed into his body. Overwhelmed, Magnus was barely aware of anything Rodimus said while he put Magnus arms through the sleeves of the robe (barely avoiding ripping them) and wrapped it as far around Magnus' torso as it would go. Tying the sash, Rodimus cursed under his breath. It was a large robe (since they hadn't known what size to get they had opted for big), but they had still underestimated.

Magnus was nearly as tall as Shellshock and almost as broad. The young Prime was only glad of his own strength as he pulled the dazed City Commander to his feet and held him upright until he got his balance. He continued to support Magnus as they inched out of the capsule where Perceptor and First Aid were anxiously waiting to examine Magnus and make sure he was fine. Magnus stumbled several times in the process, nearly taking Rodimus down with him, and worrying the young Prime a bit. Rodimus had a difficult time his first weeks as a human, but walking had never been this much of a challenge.

He stayed by Magnus' side while the medical and scientific personnel very politely argued over which tests had priority and whether or not any given set of results actually meant anything or not. Rodi knew Magnus would have needed help keeping calm under these circumstances even if he hadn't just been turned human. In the mean time, Rodimus mentally asked Lancer if she could head over to one of the few stores on Cybertron Shellshock had any luck finding clothes in to see if she could find anything for around seven feet of human flesh containing a stunned Autobot mind. Rodimus scrutinized Magnus' responses carefully; trying to gauge how well the City Commander was adapting to this new form and level of sensation after millions of years as...well...as himself.

Fortunately, Magnus was managing to keep fairly calm, although he jumped in surprise every time he was touched without plenty of warning. He shook his head and smiled with disgust at himself whenever it happened though, and Rodimus felt with some relief and a whole new set of worries, that Magnus would soon be fully adjusted.

Lancer arrived a short while later with things she hoped would fit. She had to escape one very worried and anxious EDC Captain first. Marissa was frustrated at being barred from the procedure, but Rodimus had been adamant that as few people as possible attend, and although he didn't say so, that meant ESPECIALLY Marissa. She suspected of course, and was miffed, but she also sensed she'd better not raise too much of a fuss. When Rodimus got paranoid, he usually had good reason, and she could tell he was just looking for an excuse to bring the whole thing to a screeching halt. Lurking outside Perceptor's lab, Marissa intercepted Lancer on her way in and questioned her ruthlessly about Magnus' condition. She knew Lancer would know everything through Rodimus.

"He seems fine, Marissa. He's very disoriented, that's all, and he's too big for the robe we got him."

"When can I see him?" Marissa demanded.

"As soon as Rodimus thinks he's adjusted. No! Don't argue Marissa! Rodi's first weeks as a human traumatized him for life, and not just because he was tortured! Please! Trust us, and be patient!"

Marissa knew Lancer meant what she said, not just from her words, but from the fact the mutant's eyes were glowing with emotional turmoil. Lancer promised to talk to her more later, and Marissa tried to rope in her impatience.

It wasn't easy though....not after months of hopeless despair and the endless wishing that she could touch him somehow.

Magnus was still shivering up on the examining table when Lancer brought in the first of his new wardrobe. She gave him a quick wave, handed over his clothing to Rodimus, and vanished again as quickly as she had come. Rodimus let Perceptor lift him up onto the table rather than morphing back to robot mode and back again to hand Magnus his clothes.

"That was abrupt," Magnus said between fits of shivering. "Why didn't she stay?"

"Because you're mostly naked Major General, and even if you weren't planning on saving yourself for Marissa, I certainly don't need to know my mate's analysis of your physique," Rodimus said with a smile.

"Err..." Magnus said, "I didn't realize...."

"Well, now ya do!" Rodimus said. "Here, put these on." He opened a package of underwear and handed Magnus a pair.

Magnus looked at them dubiously. "These are black," he said.

Rodimus looked at him and blinked for a couple of seconds. "I'm glad you still know your colors Ultra Magnus. Put them on."

Magnus looked down at them again. "How?" he asked. The simple article of clothing seemed hopelessly confusing to him.

"They go this way, and you put one leg through each side, one at a time," his leader explained. Then he helped Magnus balance while the City Commander followed orders. Once on, they seemed logical and comfortable enough, but he was still vaguely bothered by the color... a feeling which grew when the sweat suit Lancer had purchased turned out to be black and green. He didn't say anything though, since he was too cold to wait for her to run out to buy another. He put it on with a good deal of coaching and help from Rodimus, who was beginning to realize that this was going to be even more trouble than he'd feared...and he'd feared plenty.

Once Magnus was dressed, Rodimus helped him climb onto Optimus' hand and kept him balanced while the Senior Prime expertly deposited them on the floor. Optimus had plenty of experience handling humans, and he was being extra careful with Magnus, but the City Commander found himself a bit unnerved anyhow. Was this how Marissa felt every time HE picked her up? His admiration for her courage went up a few notches -something he didn't think was possible.

Rodimus helped him step off Prime's palm, and Magnus was pleased he managed without too much awkwardness.

"You OK?" Rodimus asked. How unlike him to openly worry so much - it was beginning to get on Magnus' nerves.

"I'm fine. You can let go."

"You sure?" Rodi asked.

Magnus threw him a disgusted look, and Rodimus held his hands up in surrender.

The City Commander straightened, wavered slightly, but threw Rodi another warning look when the young Prime moved to help. Magnus was determined he was going to walk out of the lab on his own. He managed pretty well for most of the way to the door, but was suddenly educated on the importance of footgear. Dragging his feet slightly, he stubbed his toe on the side of the examining table.

Magnus froze.

Rodimus folded his arms and counted silently to himself.

Optimus and Perceptor exchanged confused glances - unable to even guess why Magnus had stopped moving.

Magnus' mouth worked soundlessly. Rodi kept counting, with a slightly smug smile on his face.

"Huu...." Magnus managed in sort of a strangled, breathless grunt.

"Yup," said Rodi.

"Huuu...." Magnus said again, only slightly louder.

"Uh-huh," said Rodi, "Anything else?"

Magnus' pain receded a bit and he was at last able to draw breath to express himself. The scream was blood-curdling and continued for a good minute before he was forced to take another breath so that he could do it again.

"His lung capacity is pretty good," Rodimus told his other friends in a conversational tone, mostly to let them know he wasn't concerned. Optimus looked from his howling City Commander to his smirking partner and back again.

"Is he alright?" Perceptor inquired nervously. His first impulse was to rush up to aid the human...his second was to try to hide the fact the very idea that MAGNUS might need his assistance had ever crossed his mind. Magnus might be human now, but he wouldn't be so forever, and the City Commander had a long memory for dents to his dignity.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" said Magnus.

"Quite right," said Rodimus. "Do you have anything else to add?"

"HURTS!" said Magnus.

"Very astute," Rodimus said. He was being sarcastic, but there was an underlying edge in his voice as well.

"Rodi! I'm in no mood for your sarcasm! That HURT!" Magnus said.

"Well, you stubbed your toe. Maybe even broke it...that was a pretty good hit there," Rodimus said. His obvious lack of concern was exasperating.

"BROKE IT!?" Magnus cried. "It needs fixing! IT HURTS!"

"You stubbed your toe. It doesn't need fixing, and there's nothing they can do even if it does," Rodimus stated firmly. "Just be glad you can scream about it." He locked eyes with Magnus, and the City Commander knew this was Rodi's way of saying "I told you so," without actually saying it. There was also a faint reproach in Rodi's tone and expression, reminding Magnus that he had wanted to become human - pain and all. Rodimus hadn't had that choice, and carried far worse memories than stubbed toes.

This realization inspired Magnus to shut his mouth on the pain with a snap. It was unbelievably intense - he had rarely felt so much pain in all his years as a soldier, and even then it was always in connection to some dire injury. However, if Rodimus could adapt, then so could he. Magnus thought back to Rodimus' grim warnings about human-scale pain. Had he ignored Rodi? No. But perhaps there had been the half-formed idea that Rodimus was too young to really know an old soldier's idea of suffering.

Turned out the kid was dead on target with those dark predictions. Lovely.

By the time they got to the quarters Rodimus had arranged for him, Magnus was bursting with questions. No sooner did Rodi have the door locked behind them and Magnus was already into full interrogation mode.

"What that?"

"It's a couch," Rodimus said, looking at the object Magnus was pointing at.

"What's its function?"

"You don't know what a couch is for?" Rodimus asked incredulously. Even as Hot Rod he'd known that much from hanging out with Daniel at the Witwicky home. "Magnus! Haven't you spent any time in human quarters before? Even Marissa's?"

"No, not yet," Magnus confessed. What had he been doing all those years stationed on Earth? Working naturally. He was a bit disgusted with himself. He should have made more of an effort to learn about the planet he was supposed to protect, but things like furniture had never seemed important enough to "waste time" with.

"You're hopeless, do you know that?" Rodimus told him. "How in the hell did I let you rope me into this?

"What is it's function Rodimus, and spare me your sarcasm."

"You sit your big ornery ass on it Magnus," Rodimus said, taking care to heap the sarcasm high.

Magnus sighed and then narrowed his eyes. "What's with all the chairs then?"

"Ah, at least you know a chair when you see one Major General," Rodi said.

Magnus glared.

Rodi remained defiantly unperturbed.

"Why?" Magnus said.

"The couch is more comfortable than the chairs - more cushioning."

Magnus elected to pretend he knew the importance of cushioning.

"So why have chairs if the coach is better?"

Rodimus sensed it was going to be a LONG night. "Chairs are more maneuverable," he explained - automatically using terms the City Commander could relate to the battle-field.

The night ended up exceeding Rodi's worst fears. Magnus not only knew very little about human dwellings and life styles, but challenged the logic of everything Rodi told him. Rodimus not only had to explain the working of everything from doorknobs, to water faucets, to the toilet, he had to justify them. It took hours, and hours more for Magnus to practice with everything to Rodi's satisfaction. He was impatient with the time it took for all of this, but he certainly didn't want to do it twice or have to deal with Magnus if he really managed to hurt himself.

Learning to eat was a harrowing experience for both of them. Magnus knew Rodi's opinion of human food in advance and was very consciously skeptical of his leader's advice in this case. He didn't want Rodi's prejudice to rub off on him.... Then again, neither did Rodimus.

Rodi and Lancer had taken the food shopping more seriously than anything else. Everything they'd purchased had been chosen after serious consideration and debate for Magnus' first weeks as a human. Lancer felt strongly (although Rodi wasn't so sure) that if they'd been on Maelstrom when Rodimus had first been introduced to food that he wouldn't be as phobic about eating as he was. Maybe he would still have preferred energon, but at least maybe eating wouldn't have inspired such loathing if he had been eating well prepared food rather than lance seared lizard.

They had gone for simple, easily understood, easily chewable cuisine for the humanized City Commander. In other words, his first meal consisted of apple sauce.

Rodimus poured the slop into a bowl, plunked it down in front of his friend and handed him a spoon.

"Turn it over, Mags. You've got it upside down," Rodimus advised.

"How does this work?"

"It works like a back hoe. You scoop stuff up and put it in your mouth."

"I see," Magnus said, scooping up a bite.  
"WAIT!" Rodimus cried, freezing Magnus' hand half-way to his mouth.

"What?" Magnus asked testily.

"That's too much, you'll choke."

Magnus looked dubiously down at his spoon which was currently experiencing what amounted to a small avalanche of applesauce. "Rodimus, there is less than 2 ounces of substance on this spoon."

"Magnus, do you want to live long enough to spend time with Marissa?" Rodimus asked.

Magnus opted to glare in response.

"Then you'd better start listening 'cause either your gonna kill yourself or I'm gonna do it for you! Now dump about half of the crap off your spoon before I start force-feeding you the way Lancer taught me!"

Magnus scowled and dumped some of the sauce off his spoon, his eyes never leaving those of his commander, and stuck the spoon in his mouth.

"Take the spoon out now Magnus," Rodimus said.

Magnus tried to answer him and choked on the spoon, coughing most of his first (not unpleasant) taste of humanity out onto the table. Rodimus thanked his assassin's reflexes (and the fact he'd been expecting this) for getting his face out of the way.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Rodimus advised while Magnus wheezed and sputtered. "Try again, and this time SWALLOW."

"How?" came the next breathless question as soon as Magnus cleared his windpipe.

"Umm...." Rodimus said. He suddenly realized he had no idea of how to explain the mechanics of swallowing. "I'm not sure how to describe this part Magnus. We have nothing equivalent. You'll have to figure it out

If she had passed him on the street, he probably would have seemed a little familiar to her, as if she'd known him. No doubt, his face would have lingered in her thoughts a few days while she tried to place it. No doubt she would have failed, and forgotten. Now though, now she knew where she'd seen that face before, and it didn't take much imagination to place it.

Private Charles Ellington, supposedly born in New Jersey had actually been a local boy here on Cybertron. Same wide face. Same angular eyes. No. Marissa didn't have to work hard to recognize Astrotrain.

She shuddered. Rodimus guessed Astrotrain had been made human around the same time he had, although he didn't remember seeing the Con there. They had even reluctantly contacted Shellshock to ask him. Shellshock had said nothing for several seconds, the closest he ever came to showing emotion, and then said he remembered nothing either. This wasn't what disturbed Marissa though. What disturbed her was Astrotrain's effect on his female co-workers. She saw the same stamp on Rodi's face, and on Shellshock's.

Marissa analyzed as she always did. It was hard not to notice Rodimus under any circumstances - even as an Autobot, his personality was charming, but Marissa knew he would always seem like the boy next door to her. He was not, and never would be, her type, and yet she had been totally disarmed by him the first day she met him as a human. Carly had warned her he was handsome, something Marissa had found odd in itself until she realized he had the same effect on Carly. THAT realization had startled her, because Carly was nothing if not totally devoted to Spike. Marissa had never seen Carly so much as glance at another man. If Rodimus was aware of any of this, he gave no sign, but then he was so focused on his injured mate and his daughter that Marissa wasn't surprised.

It wasn't until she met Shellshock, briefly, that Marissa REALLY began to get suspicious though. Shellshock was definitely NOT her type. She had never known Goldbug that well, but she had to admit he sort of annoyed her. At least Rodimus had the excuse of actually BEING very young. Goldbug just acted it. As a human, he was the kind of man she always wanted to pin down and shave. He paid no attention whatsoever to his appearance, and his hair and beard were so unkempt that he seemed like some kind of hermit who had lived in a cave for decades. Not her type. They hadn't done more than exchange awkward greetings, and she could see that he had locked his emotions down so deep he might as well have been Converted. She felt sorry for him, but she didn't like him. Maybe she would learn to if she got to know him better, but those few minutes certainly weren't enough for that. He was definitely not her type....and yet her body had responded to those few moments with an insistence she still couldn't believe.

Therefore she didn't believe it, and now that she was investigating Astrotrain she was reminded forcibly of those moments and her very blatant physical reaction. Astrotrain had apparently had a similar effect on those around him, and Marissa was far too suspicious to call it coincidence. The Jabez had designed the entire human race. They knew what they were doing when they made these Transformers too desirable to be ignored.

The only question was why, but Marissa didn't need to look farther than Edana's sweet little face for an answer. Already a powerful empath, and possessing eyes that saw not light, but most of the rest of the energy spectrum, Edana was a marketable commodity at less than a year old. Marissa knew mutants tended to grow in strength as they got older. If she turned out to be even half as powerful as her mother, Edana would be a target all her life. For whatever reason, the Jabez wanted mutants, and Rodimus had proven that the Autobots they tampered with could be successful sires.

Marissa doubted the Astrotrain Convert had been idle during his two years as Private Ellington. She just couldn't figure out who he'd been with. Apparently his programing had prevented him from taking up openly with any of his co-workers - perhaps to avoid calling attention to himself, or perhaps for other reasons. Searching his quarters had proven frustratingly unhelpful, but they HAD found one of the Jabez's bio-scanners. Maybe it was just that none of his co-workers had what HE was looking for in a woman...the potential to breed mutants.

Marissa sighed, and straightened her back painfully. She got up, poured herself some coffee, and went over to the window to think. Were they out there, these women he had found suitable? Did they love him? How had he gone about seducing them anyway? Had it been purely based on the powerful sexual aura the Jabez had given him, or had it been an emotional manipulation as well? Certainly, such manipulation would have made it less likely the women would have gotten abortions. He might have promised to marry them, or at least support them. Then again, he might have just lulled them into complacency and Converted them....

Marissa shuddered again, having a sudden vivid vision of thousand of women, strapped to tables to be raped by some cold machine, impregnated, give birth, and be impregnated again. Assembly line breeding with the babies branded with serial numbers and lobotomized as they drew their first breath. Such visions were coming to her more and more these days - ever since she had heard a terrified Quintisson tell Rodimus humans were Jabez constructs even as Transformers were. It had made her cynical towards her own kind, and distant from her family. Sometimes she wondered if she would ever look in the mirror and simply see Marissa again. These days she wondered where HER serial number was stamped.

She sighed. She had let all of this pressure build up too long. She needed to release it. She needed to talk to someone, but recent revelations had forced her to draw away from her usual outlet, and yet she didn't have the heart to replace him.

That meant all that she did was work. Embedded up to her eyeballs in shipping logs, slave runners, and now the life and times of Astrotrain-Man of the Year, she almost never had a non-Jabez related thought. No wonder she saw them everywhere. However, it was either that or think about her other Big Unsolvable Problem - namely Ultra Magnus.

DEFINITELY her type.  
Shit.

These last few months since she had become aware of THAT little dilemma had only served to make her more convinced and more depressed that the only man she would ever love wasn't a man at all, and had turned every minute she spent with him into a bitter-sweet form of torture she could scarcely endure.

She had just made up her mind to start avoiding him when Optimus had put Magnus in charge of everything while he, Elita, and Jazz herded Rodi onto a shuttle for the big confrontation with Lancer. Those few days had been a terror for both of them, while ALL of the others were stupidly on one vulnerable shuttle. She hadn't left his side.

Then word came back of Lancer's nearly fatal injury, Rodi's weakened state, and Edana. Marissa had again stayed nearby while they waited nervously between bits of uncertain news. Magnus had pretended to work, and pretended to be angry with Rodimus for "causing so much trouble again." Even if Marissa hadn't already known better, she would have realized how worried Magnus was when he paced his office for hours and said "I'll be damned if I'm going to speak TWICE at that boy's funeral!" She had fought back tears then, aching for him and loving him. She knew he didn't know how else to deal with his fears, and she knew he would have done anything to help Rodimus if only he knew how.

News that Rodimus had returned to human form had startled Magnus, and saddened Marissa in a way she had no name for. It wasn't jealousy exactly - she didn't begrudge Rodimus and Lancer anything - but she understood Rodi's need to be physically close to Lancer in spite of a mental bond which others could only speculate about. They were linked so closely Optimus told Magnus that he wouldn't be surprised if Rodimus died when Lancer did - and yet Rodimus still felt a compelling need to be able to hold Lancer's hand.

Marissa understood THAT only too well.  
Feeling such despair, nothing could have surprised Marissa more than when Lancer not only woke up, but agreed, however reluctantly, to stay.

It was only then that news of the baby really began to sink in, especially when Magnus came back from a meeting with Optimus claiming that not only was Rodi one-hundred percent improved, but also to have met Lancer and Edana. He had gone on about the baby for a surprisingly long time - her smile seemed to have made quite an impression, and Marissa had felt compelled to see for herself. She was curious anyway, but was more so because she knew it took something REALLY out of the ordinary to get Ultra Magnus in such a stew. Carly's nervous request for back-up had supplied a handy excuse, and Marissa finally got to meet the woman they had sought so long.

Edana, when she had finally been brought to see them, DID have a stunning smile, but Marissa's most vivid impressions of the day were of Rodi's interactions with his mate. It had been so long since Marissa had seen him without pain that she nearly didn't recognize him - human form not withstanding. He touched Lancer frequently, casually, in a way robots almost never did, since physical interaction played far less of a role in their lives. Still, he had somehow mastered the unspoken language of human contact and employed it with Lancer completely unselfconsciously. That, coupled with his Jabez-induced sexual magnetism, and Magnus' presence in the room had left Marissa one very frustrated woman. For one insane, guilty moment, she wished the Jabez on Magnus, and then spent days afterwards berating her self for selfish, sick dreams.

At the time, she was only glad Carly still seemed to be nearly panicked by Lancer, and that Lancer herself was a bit overwhelmed by Rodi's presence. Neither noticed Marissa was fairly climbing the walls - if anything they chalked her agitation up to her encounter with Talon. Magnus, of course, wouldn't have known what he was seeing even if he HAD noticed something, the ignorant bastard.

Damn him.

She found it harder and harder to react to him as she used to all the time, and she knew, from the way he would start to ask her something and then falter and change what he was about to say, that Magnus was aware something was different. When they were working, it was fine, but the silences between them were no longer comfortable. Instead they looked awkwardly for things to say. Marissa felt her love for him straining their friendship, and it frightened her. She couldn't bear the idea of losing what little she had of him, and his friendship was more than precious to her, it was essential.

Her spacious office suddenly seemed constraining, and before she knew it, Marissa found herself roaming the halls of Central aimlessly, looking at her feet and brooding.

Elita saw her pass by and called out to her, only to be ignored. Elita got up and followed Marissa for several yards before the EDC Captain took notice of her - no small feat since Elita was not exactly inconspicuous even if she didn't live up to Rodi's standard of blaring color.

"Oh! Hi Elita!" Marissa said, startled, and trying unsuccessfully to hide it.

"You are troubled, Captain," Elita said. It was a statement, not a question.

"Yeah, well, its just the usual," Marissa said.

Elita cocked her head at the small being before her. She'd seen Marissa deal with "the usual" and had made a point of studying Marissa during the time they'd worked together. In Elita's admittedly limited experience, Marissa dealt with "the usual" with efficient action honed by a very real, but quiet anger and disgust at their enemies. Namely, Marissa pored all her energy into stabbing at the slavers she was assigned to search for by pointing them out to Rodimus, and making sure he never lacked for a target. Wandering the halls in a daze wasn't exactly getting anything done, and Elita suspected that this was more personal than any Jabez menace.

In Elita's mind, that meant this had to do with Ultra Magnus. The same Ultra Magnus who sometimes couldn't help but ask Elita if she knew why Marissa was avoiding him. He clearly didn't like saying anything, but he was worried, and since he had asked her more than once, Elita guessed he was very worried indeed. She decided maybe it was time to say something before two people she cared about really DID have something to worry about.

"Let's talk," Elita said, and before Marissa could say a word of protest, Optimus' mate had scooped her off the floor and was heading towards the quarters she shared with Prime. Marissa was too startled to argue about the liberties being taken with her person or the location of this "talk."

Optimus wasn't home of course. Marissa doubted these quarters saw their occupants much more than Magnus' did. At least THESE rooms actually did look like someone visited occasionally in the sense that Marissa could see Prime and Elita had gone to the trouble of seeing that it looked comfortable should they have time to actually spend some time there. There were a few personal items in addition to the Autobot-sized furniture. It was clean and spacious - unlike Jazz's quarters which were packed to the ceiling with odd human items - including a jukebox, a '67 Chevy, and the sign to a drive-in movie theater, and Rodimus' which resembled a day-care center lately with all the stuff he had gotten for Edana (much of which she was still too young for.) Magnus', of course, looked exactly like his office. He didn't live in them - he worked in them.

Elita opened her hand so that Marissa could step onto the table with some measure of dignity.

"Marissa," Elita said before the Captain could start being evasive, "there is a great burden on you heart, and it has nothing to do with 'the usual'. We are, all of us, under too much strain already for that."

"No, Elita...really. It's just the whole Jabez-human race thing that's got me upset. I'll learn to deal with it, but it really bothers me," Marissa said.

"No doubt it does, but that is not the reason you have been avoiding Ultra Magnus," Elita said, with a gentle, compassionate smile. The way Elita saw it, this little charade had gone on long enough and she might as well get right to the heart of things before clever Marissa muddied the waters of truth too much for even Elita to navigate.

Marissa gaped uselessly. She tried for several moments to come to terms with the idea someone had even noticed, and then was side-swiped again by the idea that Magnus might have noticed.

"Uh....hu....How?!" she finally managed.

"Oh, little things," Elita said, "But mostly the fact that he's asked me if I thought you were angry with him. He's afraid he's done something wrong Marissa."

"N..No! He hasn't done anything wrong b...but...!"

"Except perhaps that's the problem?" Elita asked, ducking her head down lower to meet Marissa's down-turned eyes. "He doesn't do enough wrong?"

Marissa stared up at Elita. She had never felt so terrified in her life as she met those too wise, too insightful optics. Marissa suddenly felt completely out-matched, like her entire soul was made of clear glass for Elita to peer into and explore at will. She would have given anything at that moment to be as far away from this ancient, sage being as possible.

"Marissa....it's not his fault you're in love with him," Elita said.

Marissa came completely undone, although Elita just smiled a little sadly and didn't act surprised. She waited patiently for Marissa to cry some of the pain away. When the worst of the fit had passed, Elita got down on her knees and rested her elbows on the table.

"It's not your fault either..." Elita whispered when she was sure Marissa was calm enough to hear her.

"I can't help it Elita!" Marissa cried, a little defensively. It was not what she intended to say. She meant to laugh, to deny Elita's obvious knowledge somehow...but the feelings she had been trying so hard to smother erupted forth. She had told herself to stop loving him a thousand times, and the same response had always gone screaming through her soul. She couldn't help it. She wanted to, but she couldn't, and that response was past her lips even as she tried to concoct an answer to throw Elita off the trail.

Somehow, in spite of Elita's obvious compassion, Marissa couldn't believe the Autobot wasn't condemning her the way she condemned herself.

Elita shook her head. "Of course you can't. No more than I can help loving Orion, or Lancer can help loving Rodi...for all that she says she shouldn't....and Marissa, if Lancer can't out-stubborn her own heart, no one can, and here she is. It is not a question of no longer loving him. It is a question of what you intend to do about it."

"What can I do? We CAN'T be together!" Marissa cried.

Elita sighed. She heard the despair in Marissa's assertion and understood it, but she knew Marissa's current course of inaction would do more harm than good. Elita felt for Marissa, and Magnus as well. This wouldn't be easy for them no matter what happened, but Elita was keenly aware of how precariously the survival of two worlds balanced on the strength of the council. They couldn't afford this rift between two members. It was sure to get wider as the distance Magnus sensed led to resentment, and one secret led to another. The awkwardness between them was already bothering Magnus, and occupying his thoughts when he should have been concentrating on his duties. Marissa was no longer sharing Anything that bothered her with anyone. Sooner or later, one of them would crack or make a mistake, and it might easily cost them all everything.

"Perhaps not," Elita finally said, "but that really isn't the point is it? The point is, is that if you care about him you owe it to him to be honest with him. He's hurt. He thinks you are rejecting him, and he doesn't deserve that."

"I...I CAN'T tell him Elita! I just can't!" Marissa said.

"Why not?" Elita asked, although she suspected she knew.

"It will come between us! We're friends, and I want to stay friends! If I tell him, things will never be the same again!" Marissa said. It was perfectly easy for her to picture Magnus laughing scornfully at her for being presumptuous, or raging at her, or never speaking to her again - things her rational mind knew he'd never do, but her terrified heart couldn't let go of.

"Marissa! You know better than that! Besides....hasn't it come between you already?" Elita asked gently. "If it hasn't, why is he worried?"

Marissa gave a sigh that was half-sob, "I'm scared Elita," she admitted softly. It was a hard admission for a person who's fundamental nature was self-reliance.

"I know. But I don't think its all as bad as it seems. I've known Magnus a very long time Marissa, and I know he cares for you...deeply. If he didn't, he wouldn't even bother to ask a third person about you. He wouldn't worry that you're upset. And yet he has come to me more than once asking if I thought he had done something wrong to you. He's even come to me with examples of times he thinks he might have offended you somehow. I've NEVER known him to do that before! He's looking for answers."

"I...I don't want him to be in love with me..." Marissa said through a constrained throat. "It hurts too much!"

"Do you think I don't know that kind of pain, Captain? I know it hurts. I know how impossible and painful this must seem to you, but you can't give up, and you can't go on evading Magnus! Things have a way of working out , Marissa. I think perhaps you are deliberately blinding yourself to some of the possibilities before you because you can't bear to think about them," Elita said.

"What possibilities!? It's not like I can become an Autobot! Or like he can become human!" Marissa snapped, more harshly than she intended.

Elita didn't say anything. She just smiled.

"Well?!" Marissa said, "It's true isn't it?"

Elita just cocked her head, and waited.

Marissa gaped up at the femme leader. "Isn't it?" she finally squeaked.

"I had a very interesting conversation with Perceptor the other day," Elita said, looking off into the distance as if she hadn't heard Marissa at all. "Quite a change from our usual conversations, by the way. He does go on doesn't he? I asked if he thought that Rodi's transformation chamber would work on anyone, or just Rodimus. He said that Goldbug and Astrotrain were evidence that Rodi's condition was not unique. Since Astrotrain managed to shift back to his robot mode the way Rodimus does, Perceptor speculates Shellshock could do it too, if only he were willing to try. Perceptor then went on to say that someday others might attempt the same thing...if they had a good reason to WANT to be human, that is. He couldn't think of any, of course."

Elita wondered, privately, if Marissa knew just how far the Autobot could see down her throat.

"but...." Marissa stammered," But...."

"I'm very fond of Ultra Magnus," Elita went on, again as though Marissa hadn't said a word. "I've often wished one of my femmes was suited for him. Unfortunately, Neon was about the best there was to offer, and that's not saying much I'm afraid. Poor Magnus. He's been lonely so long, I don't think he even knows what loneliness is. It is such a fundamental part of his life he doesn't recognize it. He deserves to be happy don't you think?"

"I...but...." Marissa wheezed in shock.

"So do you, Captain. Now go talk to him before he figures it out for himself or gets hurt enough by your 'rejection' to really be angry."

"But...I...!" Marissa said.

"You have to go now? I understand. Here, I'll take you outside. Optimus is coming home soon, and we actually plan on spending some time together. Isn't it amazing how things just worked out for us? Millions of years apart, but it all came out just fine. And Rodi and Lancer too! After all they both went through, and all that deliberate TRYING to destroy their own relationship, it still survived! They're both assassins and they can't even kill off their own friendship. Astounding! Happiness crops up in the oddest places, don't you think? Well, tell Magnus I said hello. It's been nice talking to you Marissa!" Elita said. With that, she deposited the astounded EDC Captain in the hall, turned on her heel, and left Marissa standing there as the door closed.

Marissa was so disoriented she had to turn in a complete circle twice to get her bearings, but once she got oriented she found she knew right where she was headed.

Ultra Magnus heard the chime at his door and sourly asked, "Who is it?" He was in a rotten mood, which was actually a step up from his mood that morning. If things continued to go smoothly today, he figured he might make it all the way up to crabby by that evening. No doubt whoever darkened his door was no one he wanted to talk to. At best, it would be Jazz with more wretched sensor readings to decipher.

"It's Marissa."

Magnus was surprised. It had been months since Marissa had just appeared at his door. He'd seen her often enough, but only for scheduled meetings. A little nervous, he scanned her (MORE than half expecting positive readings) opened his door and saw her standing there. He could see she was fairly seething with repressed energy.

"HI!" she said.

"Err...hi?" Magnus said. She had a very nervous grin on her face and he didn't know what to make of it.

"Can I come in?" she said.

"Since when do you have to ask?" Magnus said. He meant to sound casual, but he was hurt, and it showed a little. He mentally kicked himself when he saw Marissa's smile falter slightly. When had things gotten so clumsy between them? He picked her up and carried her to his desktop as if things were normal though.

"I have something I want to talk to you about, Magnus," Marissa said.

She was doing a lot of stating the obvious today, Magnus mused, and he wondered why she was dancing around the subject like this instead of just blurting out what she wanted like she usually did. He opted to stand. Any degree of agitation on his part made sitting an impossibility.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Well, um....you see, I think sometimes, well, I think sometimes things would go...err...more smoothly...um...between humans and Autobots that is...." Marissa started.

Magnus just widened his optics a bit when she faltered and coughed.

"Well, um...don't you think Rodi understands humans better now that he's actually been one for a while?"

Magnus was having a hard time getting a handle on this conversation, but he could find no flaws in her reasoning so far, in spite of the totally alien lack of forthrightness in her manner. "In so much as he understands anything I suppose," Magnus said.

"You're still mad at him for transferring Neon to Metroplex? Hey! Stand still. Magnus, it's time to move on, not move around when I'm trying to talk to you! Now then, in that regard, I think maybe you could use, well, a change. You know, get some new experiences," Marissa said.

She was sweating. SWEATING! Magnus was so disoriented by that observation he scarcely heard her, but after the Neon experience, he waited until he went back and thought about what she'd said before responding.

"Marissa? Is this leading up to something?" he asked. He didn't care to point out that all that had happened since Rodimus had returned home human added up to more new experiences than he ever wanted in a lifetime. There were some days the exhaustion made him wish Rodimus hadn't made it home, and that they'd all lived in happy ignorance until the Jabez came to collect them.

"Um yes well you see I thought you might like to try going human for a while," she finally blurted.  
Fortunately, Magnus had had Blurr under his direct command for centuries and had no trouble translating what she'd said. UNDERSTANDING it was a different matter entirely.

"WHAT?! MARISSA! What in the universe could make me want to do that?!" Magnus cried, noting even as he ranted how pale she was.

"Well, I think it might be good for you to understand us better," she said.

"I never USED to have trouble understanding you Marissa," he thought in sad confusion. Aloud he only said, "Marissa you can't be serious."

"And it's important for people to have new experiences," Marissa went on in a rush. He sensed somehow she was unable to stop now no matter what. What the hell was going on in her mind?

"Yes, but really Marissa...!" he tried to interrupt.

"And I can't kiss you from down here stupid!" she finished, meeting his eyes and staring into them with terror, and...and.....

Magnus stared down at her, his soul frozen by her eyes. Her words had stunned him, but those eyes and all the emotion she was throwing at him completely short-circuited his view of the universe.

He didn't remember trying to sit down or missing the chair. All he knew was that when some kind of recognizable thought patterns began jelling in his mind again he was optic to eye with her where she stood on his desk. He could see her trembling with hope and fear but he was still speechless. The ironic part (the small bit of him which was actually capable of coherent thought noted) was that above and beyond the stunning realization that she loved him, and the even more stunning realization that he found that he reciprocated the feeling, was that what he felt the most was overwhelming relief she wasn't angry with him! All of the awkwardness had a clear and positive origin, and it wasn't until this moment he realized exactly how much her friendship meant to him.

That was how he knew exactly how deep his feelings for her ran...and here he had been worrying because there wasn't an AUTOBOT female he thought of everyday. He thought about Marissa, well, pretty much all of the time now didn't he?

And to think he'd been bitter that there weren't enough femmes...that none of them were suited for him. None were intelligent enough, none were strong enough to deal with the chaos this dirty little war had wrought in his life...and here was a female who'd been in it with him since almost the start. The one person he leaned on when he needed to. The person he'd been missing so badly just because she wasn't spending quite so much time with him.

She wasn't angry with him! She loved him! She wanted him to be closer, not the other way around! No wonder she was so nervous!

In a flare of compassion, he realized how hard all of this must have been (and still was!) on her.

All these thoughts muddled their way through the traffic jam of his mind while he stared at her. Whatever his thoughts might have been, the look on his face was one of childish consternation. Marissa was clearly beginning to panic.

"Magnus..! I...I'm sorry! PLEASE say something....!"

He heard her, but his mind was still too busy with other things to compose an answer right away. It wasn't until she actually turned to leave that Magnus' mouth caught up with his thoughts.

"I'll talk to Rodimus about it in the morning," he whispered.

Later on, Magnus would only be able to shake his head at himself for not figuring his own feelings out sooner. He didn't understand how he could have missed it, since it felt so good to make her happy.

Rodimus was in a miserable mood as he flopped down at his desk just in time for his morning shift. He wouldn't have minded so much about going on duty, except that he had not yet gone off duty in three days except to recharge for a few hours each day. (Recharging was now a practice he followed carefully. He STILL didn't do it a much as he should, but he managed to pacify his friends, and mostly his mate with regular, if brief, visits to his recharging chamber.) His mate couldn't say too much this time though, since she had been with him the last two nights.

She was every bit as tired and cranky as he was, and he pitied her doctors if they made a fuss over her swollen shoulder. She was out of the cast, but she was supposed to be pampering that arm. The doctor would probably accuse her of lifting something heavy by herself, and Rodimus wondered what he would say if they knew she what HAD been doing with it. Crawling on it, climbing with it, fighting with it, and, oh yeah, one really nice series of hand-springs.

In other words, Lancer and Rodimus had been on their first assassination mission together the night before last, and their second had just ended. Rodimus couldn't help but smile a little - they made a pretty good team - not that he had ever doubted they would. Together, they had dealt with one of the more productive slave rings here on Cybertron. Rodimus hadn't dared tackle them alone since some of their CV guards were Class 3 telekinetics. Not top of the line CV's to be sure, but still enough to splatter him all over the wall even in robot form. He couldn't risk the chance of exposure. The slavers had equip these "men" with conventional blasters though - probably only for the sake of appearances - but the weapons carried a full charge.

The CVs' programming was better than some, but it wasn't comprehensive either. They paid no attention to their blasters, or to the low hum they made as Lancer manipulated the energy within them. She even managed to control the reaction so that instead of a loud explosion from the guns, there was merely a contained energy flare. One after the other, the telekinetic guards disintegrated with a burst from their own side-arms.

After that, it was just a matter of time and butchery.

Rodimus was just starting to appreciate the advantages of being able to switch back and forth between human and robot form at will. He could accomplish so much in human form that he never could have pulled off as a robot - sneaking into the installation unnoticed was just the beginning.

Still, he was glad Lancer went with him, and not just because she could help with the killing. He was glad she KNEW what had happened. He was glad she KNEW how he felt about it, and was there to help him deal with it. Marissa would be sure to ask about the "location" later today so that she could check it off her growing list of targets. He would tell her "It's been dealt with," and she would smile with a certain grim satisfaction.

By mutual, unspoken agreement however, she wouldn't ask for details, and he wouldn't offer any. He didn't want to talk about it, and she didn't really want to know.

"Dealt with." What a way to summarize two hours of tense infiltration, twenty minutes of combat during which he was nearly killed twice, and during which he himself killed exactly 47 CV's. Lancer killed 73 CV's. They had taken the slavers hostage, planning to question them as Rodimus had the Quints. One look at Lancer though had several of them convinced "the devil" had come to claim them for their sins. Never ones to waste an opening, Rodi and Lancer had made the most of that idea and had the information they wanted quite quickly - mostly coming down to more names for Marissa's list. They then sent the slavers on to the afterlife - hopefully to meet the devil for real - and spent another few hours fingerprinting and photographing corpses. After that, Lancer once again facilitated things by reducing each corpse to its component elements, and Rodimus could now schedule the building for demolition. All he really needed to do was mention to one of the Paradronian architects that the old building in question was "an eyesore" and he'd have ten different new blueprints to choose from by nightfall, and a new building for Magnus to grumble about by week's end.

The others on the council knew, in general, what "dealt with" meant, but as long as he kept the smile on his face and left it at that, they wouldn't have to dwell on it long. He knew none of them really believed his smile - they knew him too well to fall for his facades - and yet they consented to respect that facade. None of them pried. They knew he wouldn't tell them what had really happened anyway, but very truthfully none of them wanted to know the details.

And why would they? Who wanted to know about naked shaven children who had to be murdered twice to find true death? Who wanted to know about the blood, and the piss, and the shit which followed a night like this? Certainly, no sane person....He was glad they didn't pry. He was glad he could protect them from this much at least.

Still, he was also glad Lancer had been there. He was glad she KNEW. He didn't want her to suffer from these memories, but at the same time he was grateful there was someone who was already past the facade.

Rodimus wasn't sure he could handle being alone in the darkness anymore.

His shift started at 6. At 6:01 there was a knock at his door.

He groaned aloud in dread - a groan which got louder when the scanners revealed Ultra Magnus waiting impatiently outside. Rodi could see the City Commander was having a hard time keeping still even for the few seconds Rodimus made him wait while the scanners checked for Conversion (and Rodi tried to pull himself together). Unusual. Magnus was normally nothing if not too preoccupied with the appearance of absolute calm.

Rodimus scowled - an expression few ever actually saw on his face - but even as Hot Rod he'd had a finely tuned instinct for trouble. Right now that instinct was fairly screaming at him, and he seriously considered pretending he wasn't in. Finally though, he decided whatever had his terse City Commander fretting in the hall was only likely to get worse with time, and was best dealt with as soon as possible.

He expected Magnus to start off by grumbling about the wait.

"Good morning Rodimus!" Magnus said, sounding both pleased with himself and a little nervous. True to form, he didn't sit.

Rodi's instincts suggested going out the window.

"Morning Magnus! Who spiked your energon?" Rodimus said cheerfully. Never let them sense your fear, he thought to himself.

"Marissa actually," Magnus said with a broad smile.

"Ah," Rodimus said, with an actual smile of his own, "Have you and the Captain patched things up then? How much groveling did it take?"

"Not much," Magnus said, ignoring Rodi's jab and setting off more alarms in the young Prime. "She had an idea, and I've decided to take her up on it. I just need some advice on how to go about it."

"Uh-huh," Rodimus said, this time unable to keep the concern out of his voice. Magnus' nervous fretting started getting to him, and he decided to stand up himself.

"Yes, well, um.... I decided I need a vacation," Magnus said.

This statement gave Rodimus quite a turn. Certainly, after all they'd been through recently, Magnus deserved and probably did need some time off, and Rodimus would never dream of denying him. However Magnus deserved and needed time off long before they'd known about the Jabez. Usually though getting Magnus to take off work usually required a direct order - most often from the medical staff. Optimus had given up long ago trying to get his City Commander to take a few days off when there WASN'T an injury involved, and Rodimus remembered his own solitary attempt during his first term as a humiliating defeat.

Now, Magnus was ASKING for time off. Uh-uh. Didn't compute. There had to be more to it than that. Rodimus decided to play it cool.

"I see. OK. Where were you planning on going? Disneyland perhaps?" Rodimus asked casually, with the wry smile Magnus usually brindled at.

"Nowhere actually. What I need to talk to you about is HOW I'm going," Magnus said.

"HOW you're going?" Rodimus asked. The window, something in him shouted, Go for the window!

"Yes," Magnus said, "I'm going to try your little chamber and spend my time off as a human."

Rodimus didn't remember sitting down, but since he cracked his chin on the desk on the way down, he was quite aware that he'd missed his chair completely.

Magnus chuckled a little, and leaned over the desk to look at Rodi. "That's how I responded when she suggested it to me," he said with a grin.

Rodimus sat silently on the floor and panicked.

First, there were all the potential complications and dangers involved with such a profound transformation. There was the inevitable difficult period of adaption which such a change implied and all of the arrangements that would need to be made to accommodate the new human. There were huge risks in security to be considered. Above it all, was the very idea something like this might be attempted for the fun of it! And who was suggesting such a thing? Was it Jazz, the human-lover? Was it Hound, who's desire to be human was commonly known? Was it Grimlock, who was just stupid enough to come up with such an idea? No. It was Ultra Magnus.. Stoic, reliable, cautious Ultra Magnus. Obsessed with his job, never-a-day-off Ultra Magnus.

"Rodimus? Rodimus? Hello?" Magnus said, leaning further forward and waving his hands in front of Rodi's face.

Rodimus didn't move or twitch an optic, so Magnus cheerfully went around the desk to shake Rodi by the shoulder. After a while of that, Rodi still didn't look right at him, but off into space with a sort of delirious horror. Magnus knew he was getting through though because Rodi said, very quietly, "How could you do this to me?"

Continued in Part B.


	3. Chapter 3

Maelstrom Chapter 23  
Proposal PART C 

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

This scene contains strong language and Dubious Humor. IT CONTAINS SOME MAJOR DEVELOPMENTS BETWEEN CHARACTERS BUT IS GENERALLY A FLUFF SCENE.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored!**

Proposal: PART C

"Rodimus...what were the first months you spent as a human like for you?"

"Wh..why do you want to know?"

"Why are you being evasive?"

They glared at each other.

"They were a mess," Rodimus finally said, by way of getting this night from hell over with, "Eat your dinner." Magnus didn't need much encouragement in that regard, but he kept on with his questions, although he decided Rodimus might be more likely to answer about specific things than just give an all-encompassing summary.

"What was your first meal?" he pressed, not minding Rodi's sour expression as long as answers were forthcoming.

"Lancer's lizard flambe`," Rodimus said.

"Explain," Magnus said.

"You are not experienced enough to talk with your mouth full Major General," Rodimus said grimly. "And it means Lancer hunted and killed small reptiles and cooked them with her powers. They were tough, bony, and unpleasant. Even she thought they tasted bad, although not as bad as I did."

"Why? What was so terrible? Didn't you at least find the texture interesting? I think I like chewing."

"Well..." Rodimus said. Then he stopped.

"Well what?"

Rodimus sighed, and shook his head. "I didn't like the texture, no. They were very hard to chew, and to be honest it hurt, especially at first. My lips and tongue were swollen from where I'd bitten them. My throat hurt because it was cold and dry and we were always breathing sand and I had some...injuries to my face and jaw which made even talking painful. Mostly though..." Rodimus said, and then trailed off again as if just now realizing what he'd been confessing. At the back of his mind he heard (with some surprise) Lancer cursing, and suddenly realized she'd been subtly egging him on.

"Why?" he asked her mentally.

"You need it...and HE needs to understand you. It will help him, and it will be good for you to talk about it."

"You know already." Rodimus argued.

"I don't count Rodi. I was there." Lancer rejoined.

"Mostly what?" Magnus said impatiently, wishing Rodimus would just take the hint and spill it without needing all this annoying subtle encouragement.

Rodimus dropped his eyes a little and seemed not to see Magnus anymore. "Mostly, I felt I should have died and that it was wrong for Lancer to kill things to keep me alive." He visibly roped himself in and put on that silly grin. "It also didn't help that she, pulled the guts out of one of our meals right in front of me so she could cook it. There are some things you just don't need to know about what you put in your mouth."

Magnus ignored Rodi's attempt to distract him, and felt a kind of fury rise inside him. He was both angry and guilt-ridden over this admission on the part of his young friend. He realized that most of this feeling of worthlessness stemmed from what the Jabez had done to Rodimus, and the fact Rodi felt responsible for Goldbug's torture, but Magnus also knew the seeds of that feeling were planted much earlier. The idea that he was somehow destined to fail had been a part of Rodi's mind-set ever since his first term as leader, and Magnus was too honest to deny that he had a part in putting it there. It hadn't been intentional of course, but Magnus knew that what he had seen as reasonable criticism had begun to lead Rodimus to believe nothing he did was worthwhile.

That combined with Kup's constant "coaching" and (understandable) concern about Rodi's extreme youth on the part of the Autobots had mixed with Rodimus' own uncertainties and fears into an emotional poison Rodimus had nearly let kill him. There was also Rodi's own mistaken conviction that as the leader he wasn't allowed to show weakness or pain. If Magnus (or any of them) had the slightest inkling as to what was going on in the young Prime's mind it would have been swiftly ended. Unfortunately even in those days Rodimus had been quite deft at masks and dissembling. No one even suspected the boy had been depressed until he let Galvatron rip his circuits out with a smile.

Magnus knew he had a hand in creating this insidious death-wish.

He also knew that it was high time Rodi got over it, and the statement that Rodimus had even once thought his life worth less than that of a lizard made Magnus want to shake the circuits out of him no matter how extreme the circumstances.

Ultra Magnus, City Commander, had a brief and satisfying vision of reaching out, rattling Rodi's bones, and ranting for hours about the ludicrousness of that entire attitude, complete with the young moron being cured of all such doubts for all time. Unfortunately Magnus knew that A.) he would be lucky to even get his hands near Lancer's student, and B.) Rodimus was far more likely to clam up than listen.

Somehow, Magnus managed not to rant, and from somewhere, a more reasonable approach came to him that he thought might have had a chance of getting through.

"Rodimus, all I can say is I'm glad Lancer didn't give in to you. You have no idea of how long we looked for you, or how the Autobots mourned for you. Optimus especially went down and never came back up. It was almost like we'd lost both of you. He holed up in that office and went about the motions of doing his duty, but he was getting so distant I was seriously considering confronting him about finding a replacement. "

"You aren't serious!" Rodimus said, rather stunned.

"Entirely. Really, I was just hoping to snap him out of it, but he wasn't doing a good job. He needed a wake up call. I was on my way to do it, and instead I end up in a meeting with all the officers and this human couple - one of whom claims he is the one and only Rodimus Prime. I wasn't entirely convinced it was you, but the one thing I could see was that Optimus did, and suddenly he was back in command - thinking and responding actively to the situation at hand rather than just going through the motions. I was both relieved and worried, because I didn't know how he would react if you turned out to be a fraud."

Rodimus shook his head and frowned thoughtfully. "I had no idea he reacted that way. However, I can tell you it may not have been entirely his fault Magnus. He knew I was alive - at least up until the point they turned me human, because the Matrix transmitted some of what I was going through to him."

"WHAT?! HOW?! You can't mean to tell me you are linked with OPTIMUS too!"

"Not with an open channel. We aren't linked directly the way Lancer and I are, thankfully. I'm not sure I could take having Op in my head. However, we are both linked to the Matrix, and copies of ourselves reside inside it - the aspects the crystal duplicates and stores. Normally, it takes actual contact with the Matrix to have it record memories, but apparently what happened with the Jabez was intense enough to breach the distance. The "me" within took it as a warning and passed what it could along to Optimus."

"The 'Me' within? Rodimus, what the hell are you talking about?"

"The part of me that's within the Matrix. Ever since its been emptied, Optimus and I have been more aware of our own echoes because they are the only ones there now. During my first term, I wasn't much aware of it, because it was the others who gave me advice and ideas I knew weren't my own. Now though...now its painfully obvious. The "me" within never got tortured, and never became an assassin. To be quite honest, the few times I've had contact with the Matrix since I've been back have been more like having meetings with a younger version of myself....and he's rather appalled with what I have become. Optimus and I agreed to take measures to leave him there, which is partly why I've had minimal contact with the Matrix since coming home. We're trying to find a way to keep my current self from overwriting that set of emotional and rational responses."

"Why? Aren't you worth anything now?" Magnus said challengingly.

"Magnus...I don't think I was meant to be psychotic...and I take comfort in the idea that there is some part of me preserved undamaged. We are trying to find a way to sort of make separate files in a sense....to sort of make the Matrix think I'm a different person now and to record my memories separately. It seems to be working, although it's a bit early to tell. Optimus says there is a faint impression of a third consciousness forming, but I haven't had enough contact with it to really make a strong shade....and I've told him to have as little contact with it as possible."

"Rodimus...."

"Magnus, what good does it do to have Optimus relive what I went through first hand? Aren't I enough lunacy for this army?"

"More than enough," Magnus admitted wryly, and then plowed ahead with his questions before Rodimus had a chance to get reticent. "If the lizards were so bad, why did you eat them? Wasn't there anything better around?" Magnus asked - trying to remember the details of things he'd seen in Vector Sigma's holo-chambers. It didn't help much - most of what he'd seen had been distorted by Rodimus' powerful resistance to the mental probe. It had been jumbled and out of sequence, he knew, with only a few scattered moments coming out clearly, and even then only the significant aspects had been clear.

Rodimus shook his head. "Not at first anyway. We landed in the middle of a wasteland. The nearest equivalent on Earth would be the Gobi desert I suppose. It was barren, frozen, and prone to high winds and dust storms. Food was hard for Lancer to find, and water was even harder. By the time the climate got better and food was easier to come by, the damage had been done I suppose, although I can't say I'm pleased to find my food aversion is yet another result of trauma rather than a natural Autobot reaction to food. Now I get to hear more of Lancer's 'It's all in your head' line. She's already suggesting I help you finish the cottage cheese, and I want to once again thank you for bringing this turmoil into my life."

"You're welcome," Magnus smirked. He liked it when Lancer bullied Rodimus since it was something the rest of them rarely got away with anymore. Then he sobered and returned to Rodimus' actual point before he'd tried getting off topic again. "And here I was complaining that it was cold in the lab," Magnus said.

Rodimus shrugged, "Lancer got me through. It wasn't easy but she did."

Magnus looked down at his meal and took another experimental bite. He analyzed his enjoyment of each aspect and felt an unaccustomed gratitude to Rodimus for working so hard to make this an orderly and pleasant experience.

"Knowing you it's a miracle she pulled it off," Magnus said with exasperated affection.

"She wouldn't let me die. It's as simple as that."

"Explain."

Rodimus snorted. "You know she force-fed me. She also screamed at me, fought me, dragged me, and even zapped me. Those first weeks when I was too apathetic to even feel hunger, she kept me going by deliberately enraging me so that my body wouldn't just shut down. She did a good job too. At the start I really hated her."

"You? Hated her?" Magnus asked.

"Yeah. I thought she was a real bitch for interfering and not letting me die the way I wanted to."

"You're insufferable! It's just good it was her instead of me because I would have left you sitting on the sand! When did this attitude of yours turn around? When did you realize you loved her? WHY did you start loving her if she was so hard on you?"

Rodimus blinked at him a few times, and then grinned. "Ya know...I'm not sure I can answer those questions. I can tell you when I realized she was really doing everything she could to help me. I can tell you when I started noticing things I admired about her, but when did I fall in love? I don't know. By the time I recognized it for what it was it had been there for a while."

"Yeah, I know the feeling," Magnus said, mostly to himself with a sort of half-smile on his face. It wasn't until he focused back on Rodimus and caught his leader smirking that he realized he'd said that out loud and the consequences for doing so. He waited for the taunting to begin. Amazingly though, Rodimus didn't start harassing him, even though the smirk didn't leave.

"You really got it at last don't you Ultra Magnus? This isn't some weird joy-ride for you. She's really gotten through that thick hide!"

Magnus glared, "'Got it at last'? You make it sound like a disease! And of course I care for her! Why else would I go through all this?"

"Hey! Don't get all defensive. I just think it's cool. So! When did YOU realize you were in love?"

"Hmmph. That's easy. Right after she asked me to go human. I think my butt hit the floor and the realization hit my CPU about the same instant," Magnus said with another odd little smile. "Like you said, I also realized it had been there for a while though."

"How did she ask you?" Rodimus said, obviously all ears. Magnus wondered briefly how much of this curiosity was Rodimus', and how much was Rodimus' mate's.

Magnus grinned a little at the memory which led Rodi to marvel the number of smiles he was seeing on Magnus' face just over the course of this conversation. They probably added up to more than he had seen on Magnus since he was activated.

"She was really nervous when she came in," Magnus reminisced. "I was glad to see her though. I was really worried she was mad at me again because she'd been avoiding me so much. I started worrying again because she didn't get straight to the point like she always does...she sort of danced around the subject for a while. I thought she was trying to find a way to tell me we weren't friends anymore or something equally dire. When all of her excuses ran out though, she finally just said I was too tall to kiss as an Autobot. That's when I hit the floor. The funny part is that even beyond the shock that she loves me, and that I apparently love her, was that I was incredibly relieved she wasn't ANGRY with me!"

Rodimus, remembering with exquisite clarity the time Magnus had practically curled up in his chair at Marissa's glance the one time she HAD been angry with him, grinned hugely. "You're right, Major General. That IS the funny part! And to think I never imagined this could happen in my lifetime! The mighty Ultra Magnus - wrapped in a neat little bow around one tiny little human finger!"

"Rodimus? What in the hell are you talking about? I can't fit around Marissa's finger!"

Rodi's head hit the table.

Magnus glared and shook his head.

Without looking up, Rodimus asked, "Magnus...how long have you been stationed on Earth?"

"You know full well it's been over three decades. Slightly longer than you've been alive Rodimus."

"Ah...yes. Just checking."

"Would you care to explain this particular bit of sarcasm?" Magnus snarled.

"It means you like her! It means you can't stand it when she's upset and that you'll do anything to please her! You even went human for her and screwed up my week! Magnus how can you have served on Earth for most of my lifetime without knowing what that means?!"

"I was busy," Magnus said, feeling a bit defensive all of a sudden.

"No one is that busy Magnus unless they want to be. You have always had the same right to personal time as the rest of us you just didn't take it. Two decades on Earth and you don't know what a couch is for. Unbelievable!"

"I had better things to do than learn every little human euphemism," Magnus stated haughtily, "I was already a full commander when I was transferred to Earth, unlike someone I know who had time to play. Socializing with the natives wasn't a priority - securing Metroplex against the Cons was."

"Socializing with the natives should have been a priority! Can you seriously mean to tell me that understanding and communicating with the culture you were assigned to protect wasn't part of your strategy?!" Rodimus cried in not totally feigned horror. "Besides...don't make it sound like you just ignored the humans. You don't socialize with anybody! You don't socialize period! And now I'm supposed to help you blend into a culture you've ignored for decades!"

Magnus stared at Rodimus, then at the table. The truth was, he was deeply rattled and was plunged into a whirlwind self-examination. The remark about understanding human culture was the catalyst. A flaw in his strategy? Absolutely. An enormous, glaring flaw to be precise. How had he ever missed something so elementary? How had they survived? Mis-communication with the humans could easily have been the chink in his plans which could have brought the Autobots to their knees. So how had they survived? Luck. The fact that the Cons and Quints understood humans even less than he did....and the fact that he blindly delegated dealing with humans to subordinates who did take the time to understand them. He wondered how many of his terse communications had been edited without his knowledge to be more understandable and personable to the humans they were intended for. Most of them probably. Damn. Where did this incredible stupidity come from?

Ah yes. Where it always came from. The Great Stupidity. The Disaster. And Rodimus was right... It wasn't just humans he was hiding from. It was everybody. In his frantic efforts to make up for what happened he had buried himself - literally buried himself like a corpse - away from anyone or anything that might led to any real fun or friendship until he'd forgotten that even an army was made of individuals interacting.

"Elita's right...." he mused aloud, "I'm overcompensating. It's a miracle I didn't cause another disaster bigger than the first."

"Overcompensating?" Rodimus asked.

Magnus jumped. He hadn't meant to say anything. Rodimus was looking at him curiously. Damn! Now what was he going to say? Lying wasn't his forte', and he felt more than sure that even if it was he had no chance of fooling the Master of Deceit. Best to give the truth....with as few details as possible.

Nice plan.

"Well," Magnus coughed, "When I was a young, idiotic Autobot...."

"Oh, you mean like Hot Rod...." Rodimus said with a smile. He meant it entirely as a joke - not liking the gloomy expression on Magnus' face one bit. Magnus was often openly irritated, angry, frustrated, etc., etc., but he rarely looked shaken...or sad. The joke certainly didn't have the intended effect though since Rodimus was expecting Magnus to go off on such a ridiculous, insulting statement.

Instead Magnus jerked again - as if prodded by something hot and sharp. He stared at Rodi for a few heartbeats and then stammered, "Y...yes. Like...Hot Rod." After that, Magnus didn't meet Rodi's eyes even once while he confessed what happened faster and faster. This was no terse, military report. Rather it was the frightened confession of a guilt-ridden child - leaving Rodimus with the sudden eerie impression that HE was now the elder. Chameleon-like, he automatically assumed that role. Magnus needed it.

Details flooded out of the City Commander completely against his will....that he had cried malfunction to relax for a bit, leaving the rest of the small unit he was assigned to to patrol without him for a few hours. He'd gone in later to catch up, but only arrived in time to witness the tail end of a massacre. The Cons were leaving the scene but he'd been too horrified to even fire after them. That he had turned to run away from the damning stares of the corpses and had spent long moments shuddering in an alley before finally finding the resolve to return to base and report what happened.

His own confusion multiplied when a young Optimus, not yet a legend but already greatly respected, had absolved Magnus of guilt. The forgiveness was in some ways more of a punishment than any court-martial could assign since Magnus simply did not understand it. Optimus' compassion produced in him a burning desire to never let his leader down again, to work and work as reparation - although in his heart the debt would never be paid. Absolution for his sin was like a star on the horizon of an infinite road - no amount of running would bring him to it. Still, he shunned all detours, all diversions.

By the time he finished, Magnus' body was shivering with adrenaline and tears were welling up in his eyes. He was barely aware of these things though and he clutched at the edge of the table. Still unable to look up he concluded with a barely audible apology - whispered repeatedly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry....."

Rodimus didn't say anything, but reached out and gripped Magnus' hand firmly. Still unused to human contact Magnus was brought sharply back to the present. He met Rodi's eyes and was overawed to see nearly exactly the same expression of compassion Optimus had worn so many centuries ago but now Magnus not only knew Rodimus understood - he knew WHY Rodimus understood. Rodimus - with so much blood on his hands. Rodimus - who held onto Goldbug's shattered visage and whose guilt was the foundation of every action he took against their enemies. Was it possible Optimus held similar secrets? Was it possible that his original pardon had not been out of pity, but real understanding? And what of Rodi - sitting there so calmly? Wasn't he shocked? Didn't he realize as Magnus now did that most of Magnus' early criticisms of Rodi's first, uncertain term as leader had stemmed from Magnus' own guilt? That Magnus had condemned Hot Roddish behavior because it reminded him of his own mistakes? Worst of all, Magnus now asked (NEEDED!) Rodimus to help him make up for millions of years of neglect of his own heart.

Magnus blinked and felt something slide down his cheeks. It tickled a bit and he flinched again then brushed at his face a bit frantically.

"Wha....?" he cried, staring at the moisture on his fingers.

"You're crying a little, that's all. It's OK. It's normal."

"None of this is normal," Magnus said sullenly. "I just had a complete emotional break-down. That's not normal."

"Sure it is," Rodimus said with assurance. "Holding something like that in for millennia after millennia is what's not normal Magnus. Am I the first person you've told this too?"

"Aside from Optimus and Elita the day it happened. You are annoyingly unsurprised by the way."

"I saw it in the tunnels remember? Besides, you don't go through several millions of years of warfare without picking up some emotional baggage...and some serious mistakes Magnus."

"I can not believe I just told you all of this," Magnus muttered.

"Well, I can't believe you head hasn't exploded keeping it in all this time. Not healthy Mags. Not a good policy."

"Don't tell me to just get over it!" Magnus snapped.

"Who me? That would be hypocritical now wouldn't it? What makes you think I'd say something like that? Even I'M not that stupid!"

"You aren't stupid....I just heard it a lot when I was younger."

"From who?"

"Well...oh never mind."

"Oh, now you HAVE to tell," Rodimus said with a smile.

Magnus sighed. "Neon for one," he muttered, knowing what was coming.

"Well THAT figures!" Rodimus snorted, "Geez Mags! Consider the source!"

"Like you had to tell me that!" Magnus snapped.

"Obviously I did if you're still being defensive about it," Rodimus said, still smiling.

"Oh give it a rest! She seemed a lot more sensible when I was younger! She wasn't. She just seemed it!"

Rodimus laughed until he was sure he had restored his City Commander to his usual competent irritability and then sobered enough to make his point. "She's an airhead so you'll have to rely on MY ageless wisdom instead."

"Joy," Magnus interjected.

"Don't interrupt when I'm lecturing Major General. Now where was I? Oh yes. You aren't going to get over this. Period. However, you can learn to LIVE with it - and I do mean that in the fullest sense of the word. You can't suppress this crap. It's like poison, and if you are serious about this whole human thing it is imperative you learn to interact with people!"

"I get along with Marissa just fine...." Magnus started.

"No. She gets along with YOU just fine, which only goes to show how astounding she is. However, I doubt very much she is going to put up with you making an ass of yourself in public so you'd better start listening to me and paying attention to the people around you! Marissa won't be as nice about your unparalled ignorance as I will!"

"Well...err....." Magnus said nervously. He had a sinking impression that Rodimus was right on all counts and it unnerved him greatly.

"You know I'm right! Oh! And for Cybertron's sake TELL this shit to Marissa the very first chance you get. It never hurts to have the woman you love know your weaknesses. I for one am only too glad Lancer is around to watch my back and keep me honest."

"Errr.....I don't think I ca...."

"Shut up. Of course you can. You have to. Keeping secrets from your mate is like poison too sometimes," Rodimus said. Then his voice lost a bit of its cheerful confidence. "Besides... confessions are like... like screams. They help you release the pain."

Magnus knew that nothing he said or did could help Rodimus with THAT hurdle if a mind-mate and fatherhood could not ease it, so he opted for hating the Jabez and glaring at Rodi. "You can't scream....you want to, but you can't."

"Yeah well," Rodimus chirped, "That's true enough so imagine how it irks me to see you squandering your privileges. I want to, but I can't. You can, but you don't. Too much irony for my tastes so I suggest you rectify your behavior. Here!" he said, handing something new and strange to Magnus before he could respond. "This is a tissue. Handy devise. Wipe your eyes with it and then blow you nose...in THAT order."

"Blow my nose?" Magnus asked worriedly. To him it sounded like explosives were involved.

"Right. AFTER you wipe your eyes hold it firmly over your nostrils, take a deep breath through your mouth, and then exhale forcefully through your nose. It should help clear the congestion and it will DEFINITELY make you less disgusting to look at."

Magnus glared at his leader, aware he was being diverted, but also aware of something wet staining his upper lip. It took him a few moments to work out the procedure and get the air going through the right vents in the right order. That achieved he still felt a bit slimy...not to mention disgusted by the contents of the "tissue." Rodimus immediately handed him another, and then another until Magnus' nose was clear and free of residue.

Without missing a beat Rodimus then placed a roughly squarish substance on his plate.

"What's this?" Magnus asked.

"It's called bread dummy," Rodimus said, looking strangely smug. "You eat it. Congrats. You've graduated to solid food."

"Why isn't it square?" Magnus asked. His sense of geometry was being disturbed by the almost-but-not-quite shape of the slice.

"It just isn't," Rodimus said.

"Why? Wouldn't it fit in storage better if it was perfectly square?"

"Probably, but that isn't how it is. It gets that way when it bakes. Eat it."

"Couldn't they find away to improve on its shape? Is this a new invention they haven't perfected yet?"

"NO! Its bread! They don't care if it isn't square! They care if it isn't fresh and if you just sit there staring at it for much longer it isn't going to be fresh! EAT IT!"

"I can see you aren't going to be rational about this. Do you mind telling me HOW I should eat it or are you going to get defensive over all my questions?" Magnus said reproachfully.

"No! Only the hopelessly anal ones!" Rodimus snapped.

"I see. And what does that statement mean exactly? I've always wanted to know."

Rodimus stared at him for a few seconds and began laughing hopelessly. "Eat your bread. You'll find out eventually." He refused to elaborate further - just chuckled annoyingly whenever Magnus asked.

"You have yet to tell me how," Magnus prompted grimly.

"Pick up the slice, open your mouth, and use your teeth to remove a small section. Chew that section and then swallow it. Repeat as necessary until the slice is gone, you are no longer hungry, or I choke you for being a thorn in my side!"

Magnus hated it when Rodimus talked like a used car sales-man. (Not even he could avoid knowing what they sounded like with Wreck-Gar around.) He didn't have too much trouble with the bread except for being over-cautious with his first bite (Rodimus asked him if he had inadvertantly gotten mouse DNA mixed in with him during the humanization process) and a slight difficulty swallowing after the fourth or fifth bite. Complaining of that produced a melted-silicate container full of transparent liquid.

"This is water," Magnus observed.

"By the Matrix! He KNOWS something!" Rodimus crowed.

"What do you want me to do with this?"

"I take it back," Rodi said dejectedly.

Magnus glared.

"Drink it you dope! What did you think you were supposed to do with it?"

"Water is a cleansing agent," Magnus noted.

"Save the bathing for later! THIS is drinking water. Drink it!"

"Water is a stable molecule. There is no way to alter it for a specific function," Magnus persisted.

"If you don't quit contradicting everything I say I'm going to draw you a bath and drown you in it just to prove how versatile water can be. Drink the whole glass now."

"How?"

"Figure it out yourself Mr.-Know-It-All," Rodimus said, clearly miffed.

Magnus looked at his commander expectantly and waited stubbornly for further instructions but Rodimus crossed his arms and turned his back on Magnus. The City Commander decided he was not to be deterred by childish stubbornness. After all, water was pretty similar to energon in its liquid state and certainly it couldn't pose more of a problem than the solids and chewing.

He lifted the glass to his lips, opened his mouth, and tipped backwards.

The next thing he knew there was liquid everywhere - in his mouth, over his face,  
down his shirt, and most of all up his nose. The uncontrolable choking and coughing were accompanied by an incredible burning which was unlike any sensation he'd ever felt. He fought to breath and reached convulsively for his stinging nose.....

CRASH!

The sound of splintering did nothing to calm him and he was on the verge of a real panic. He was coughing so hard his eyes were tearing and he couldn't open them sufficiently to even see.

Rodi's voice, exasperated but not worried, cut through Magnus' frenzy.

"Mags, sit still. You dropped the glass and I don't want you to get cut."

"CUT?! What difference does that make when I'm drowning?"

"You aren't drowning. You just snorted some water and made a major mess Major General."

"Humans die when they breath water!"

"No. Humans die when they can't get any air at all but even that takes more than a few seconds. Trust me. If you can get enough air to complain, you're fine!" Rodimus said from the floor. Magnus could now see well enough to note his leader was carefully picking large pieces of glass off the floor and setting them in a neat stack a few feet away.

"My nose hurts!"

"Yeah, well a lot more is going to hurt if you don't sit sti..."

"What's the matter?" Magnus asked, wondering what in the world would make Rodimus cut off mid-rant.

"I cut myself," Rodimus said with a sigh.

Magnus looked and saw blood on Rodi's fingertips...it looked like a river to him.

"Is it bad? Should I call for help?"

"SIT! No. It's just a little cut. I'll probably get another before I'm done with this and I'll then get a band-aid. I'd just get a broom to clean this up with but I don't trust you to keep your big feet off the big shards. Knowing you it'd go right through."

"I'll sit still. Go get the broom."

Rodimus looked up at him skeptically and then nodded. He got up and went to the far side of the kitchen, sucking his bleeding finger as he did. Magnus decided to save his questions about that until AFTER all the glass was cleared away from his bare feet. When that was done he insisted on seeing Rodi's not-so grave injury.

"Does it hurt?" Magnus asked. "It's still bleeding."

Rodimus arched an eyebrow.

"I don't understand..." Magnus went on. "You hardly touched it and it sliced right through."

"Yeah, well...it was sharp. Magnus if you are planning to freak out over every little injury then you need to take up another hobby! I mean it! I TOLD you humans put up with this kind of thing on a daily basis!" He gave Magnus' arm a solid tweak - not a pinch exactly, but compressing the flesh to demonstrate its pliability. "This is soft stuff! It's 90 percent water encased in microscopic layers of membrane and held together mostly by wishful thinking! Your cells are nothing but little balloons waiting to be punctured, sliced, burned, bruised, and mutated by UV radiation! And THAT'S just from the everyday stuff in this kitchen!"

"But...it can't be that easy! Rodimus, I've seen you and Lancer spar. You don't hold back on each other!"

"Yeah, and we finish every session bruised and in most cases one of us ends up bleeding. That's just the way it is," Rodimus said sternly. He was annoyed that Magnus seemed to have forgotten all the warnings he'd been given when he first approached Rodimus with this idea.

"But...how can you spar with her knowing she might get hurt?" Magnus asked earnestly.

"You really don't pay attention do you? SHE usually goes after me! Besides, we do it to keep each other sharp. Better a few bruises or even a lot of bruises than getting killed in battle. She'll even more slaver/CV action than I do when she goes back tot he Maelstrom and..."

"How can you let her do that?" Magnus interrupted very abruptly.

"Huh?" came Rodi's adroit response.

"Seriously...how can you let her out of your sight to fight when you know she can get hurt so easily? How can they bear to be around us Rodi? If all it takes is a little piece of glass to make them bleed.... Spike and Carly raised Daniel around us! Marissa FIGHTS along with us! She's going to get herself killed! I can't let her take such chances anymore! I ca...."

"OK! Hold it right there big guy! You are getting right out of line and as chief advisor for your survival as a human I suggest you keep your big mouth shut about what chances you are or are not going to "let" Marissa take. Come at her now with that kind of attitude and I give you about 2 seconds survival time.... Come to think of it, I give you about the same even if you're in robot form! This all may be a big surprise to you but believe me she is well aware of the risks she takes and she still dares the flying chairs in your office whenever you get yourself in a snit. NO! Shut up! I'm lecturing again and if you love her you'll listen. I can hear this relationship going down in flames before it ever gets off the ground! Marissa won't stand for being ordered around or stifled any more than Lancer would."

"But..."

"But what Magnus? In this regard you aren't her superior in any sense of the word. When you're at work you accept her as an equal but now that you're in love with her you suddenly get to make all the decisions? It's HER life. She decided to spend it in EDC and you are very glad she did. You are also very glad she's got more courage and more determination than you can comprehend! Otherwise you wouldn't even remember her name, let alone love and respect her. She wouldn't be here otherwise and even if by chance she DID come into Metroplex, you'd ignore her the way you do every other human."

"But....but...."

"BUT...this is the price you pay for caring about her. I know she's precious to you but the love you feel for her doesn't change anything! She is who she is and a big part of that is her career and her need to be in the thick of things. It isn't easy loving someone with courage Mags. Ask Optimus. You have to watch them take risks. You can't go around loving that woman for her brains and independence and then ask her to quit thinking and acting for herself!"

"Of course I wouldn't do that! I just want her to be safe. Oh...forget it! You can't possibly understand what I'm...."

Magnus never got to finish that remark. He suddenly found himself on the floor with the wind knocked out of him and Rodimus sitting on his chest. It brought back some unpleasant memories for the City Commander....especially the look in those green-furious eyes.

"I'm no longer the type to sit idly by and let you stubbornly ignore what I'm saying you bull-headed moron! I SHOULD just let you go ahead and talk to her like that so you can learn things the hard way like you deserve. I like Marissa too much for that though and besides we might have trouble keeping your corpse out of the hands of her CO. I couldn't possibly know? Excuse me?! I had to let my mate head off on a suicide mission if you remember! I fully expected to feel her life extinguished! As it was, I just had to watch her take a toxin-coated shaft in the shoulder! Then I had to watch her undergo surgery after surgery and fever after fever! I have just a little more experience with the female human mind than you and if you don't stop being an asshole I'm leaving you to figure your asshole out by yourself! I've got several thousand better things to do tonight not the least of which is spending time with MY mate who just happens to be in town between all those risky missions! Very soon she will go back to her friends. I will hardly ever get to see her and here I am looking at YOUR sour face!"

Very few people chewed Magnus out and lived to tell about it....but then very few people ever actually found legitimate reasons to complain. Magnus was no pushover, but he knew truth when he heard it.

He didn't argue or try to defend himself. He just thought for a few minutes.

"You're right...on all counts. I'm being unreasonably argumentative and I'm sorry."

"You're what?"

"I'm sorry! You don't have to look so shocked you know!"

"I just never heard you use those words in conjunction before," Rodimus said.

"Oh shut up! I take it back! Now get off me dammit!"

Rodimus snickered but he complied.

"You're right about Marissa too," Magnus said grudgingly once he was on his feet and had his dignity back in place.

"I know. What made you realize that?"

"Well, I thought about what you went through when Lancer left. I know how hard it was for you but now that I know her a little I can see why you couldn't stop her. Ripping you to shreds would have just been the beginning.....and then I realized Marissa probably wouldn't respond all that differently. She's one of the very few people who's ever had the guts to argue with me directly, and she did it right from the start. If none of what we've been through already has dissuaded her yet then nothing I can say will change that....even if I'm terrified for her."

"Right," Rodimus said.

"How DO you put up with it...the fear I mean? I'm...I'm not used to being afraid like this."

"You never had so much to lose. I don't have any advise though. I'm scared all the time too. I just try to make the most of the times she IS where I can protect her by staying on her good side! Otherwise she wouldn't be practicing when she goes after my hide!"

Magnus sighed and looked down at the table, obviously still fretting.

"Look, a lot of this is fear of the unknown," Rodimus said. "In spite of everything, humans are pretty resilient and you'll come to wish that your robotic body was as independent sometimes. Flesh has its good points if you learn to maintain it right. Let's just try to get through as much as possible today and you can ask all the annoying questions you want after you understand the basics. Deal?"

"Deal...." Magnus said grudgingly.

Continued in Part D


	4. Chapter 4

Maelstrom Chapter 23  
Proposal PART D 

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

This scene contains strong language and Dubious Humor. IT CONTAINS SOME MAJOR DEVELOPMENTS BETWEEN CHARACTERS BUT IS GENERALLY A FLUFF SCENE.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored!**

**Maelstrom Chapter 23  
Proposal PART D**

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing. If you have not read the nine original Maelstrom Comics and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This scene contains strong language and Dubious Humor. IT CONTAINS SOME MAJOR DEVELOPMENTS BETWEEN CHARACTERS BUT IS GENERALLY A FLUFF SCENE.

Proposal: PART D

That resolved, they made quicker progress although Magnus stored every question he thought of with a miser's precision. He didn't want to lose track of a single offense to his sense of logic. As they went around the apartment though, Magnus found he actually began removing criticisms from his list, although he did it very reluctantly. Perhaps the handles on the sink didn't provide the optimal shape for gripping (a different lever altogether would have been more efficient in his opinion) but they felt good in his hand. Smooth contours were against the grain of his Autobot sense of good construction, but Magnus quickly realized (after bumping into a few things) that they were less likely to hurt him. He immediately therefore became a staunch supporter of all things curved. The flowers were obviously frivolous (anything that reminded him of Neon was definitely in trouble) but after losing himself in their scent for almost five minutes he became their advocate too....although he was not in the least bit grateful to Rodimus for trying (unsuccessfully, but trying) to suppress his snickers.

Magnus didn't realize how long he investigated the flowers' scent and Rodimus was hard pressed not to laugh aloud at seven feet of irritable human inhaling the aroma, cocking his head, inhaling again, muttering to himself, and inhaling still more. Therefore the suppressed laughter was sent along to Lancer who had taken mercy on Marissa and was spending the day with her. She gave the worried EDC Captain a play by play of the events as they unfolded. They spent the day laughing and getting to know each other. They found they had a lot in common besides the foolishness to love an alien, although Marissa would have liked Lancer just out of gratitude for sharing Magnus' exploits alone.

The EDC Captain was very anxious about Magnus' ability to adapt and knew she would feel unbearably guilty if something went wrong and he couldn't adjust. It had been her idea after all. On top of that there was the overriding knowledge that if he couldn't adapt she would never be able to be with him. She didn't think she could go on that way anymore. Certainly she couldn't see herself working with him ever again now that he KNEW how she felt and she knew he returned the feeling. Just knowing what was going on made Marissa feel MUCH calmer since her imagination no longer had the freedom to run wild with horrible ideas. Every time Magnus got himself into trouble Lancer was also able to help Marissa put it into perspective with tales of how Rodimus had adapted (usually far more poorly than Magnus.) Certainly it didn't hurt to have Lancer (with her undeniable insight into the Autobot mind) explain WHY Magnus did some of the things he did.

They talked a lot about how huge robots viewed things human and Marissa was suddenly very glad Lancer was around. Magnus would be discovering things about being human a long time and Marissa was just realizing how much he didn't know and responsible she would have to be for him....almost like a parent. She would have to anticipate what would confuse, frighten, and injure him: Lancer was a huge help in making a list.

Not to mention it was impossible to worry too much when the mutant was busy describing Magnus' every confused expression, every naive remark, and every ignorant blunder, with additional commentary added by Lancer's exasperated mate. Nevertheless, Marissa was glad the City Commander was blithely unaware he was supplying such grand entertainment. There were moments when Marissa had to wait impatiently for Lancer to be able to draw breath between laughing fits to explain what was going on.

The art of getting dressed and undressed had them in tears.

The use of the toilet was explained, but Magnus' ignorance of his body's signals led to an accident anyway. Marissa was a little sorry for him there but was even more sorry for poor Rodimus at that point.

Magnus was unable to resist challenging the need to a bath tub AND a shower so Rodimus made the City Commander try both - starting with the shower. Magnus claimed it was rather like a car wash and pronounced it far more sensible than a bath (although Rodi found it necessary to intervene almost at once when Magnus seemed to gear up to scrub his own skin off. There was also a traumatic incident with the shampoo in Magnus' eye.) Rodi wisely didn't argue when Magnus proclaimed baths as an obvious waste of time and water. He just filled the large tub. (They had gone for a half-jacuzzi model fortunately. For most people it would count as a small pool. For Magnus it was just over adequate.) Rodimus had to order Magnus to sit in it and remind him of his promise to be less argumentative. Magnus grumbled for the first three minutes, fell silent, and then finally sagged back against the side of the tub. Rodimus sat on the toilet lid and smirked to himself as he watched Magnus' face get slack and drowsy looking. Sadist that he was, Rodimus couldn't resist interfering just to make his point.

"Time to get out now Mags. We've got lots to do."

"...Hmmmm? But I was just...getting used to it," Magnus protested sleepily.

"I know, but I wouldn't want you to be inconvenienced any longer. I know you won't need much practice with this since its such a waste of time and you'll never want to do it again."

("He's evil," Marissa told Lancer at the other end of Central.

"I know," Lancer said with a proud leer. They both snickered.)

"I never SAID I'd never take one," Magnus protested.

"Oh! My mistake!" Rodimus said innocently. "I just thought you never went for anything 'inefficient'."

"This is different," Magnus defended himself. "It...it FEELS good."

"Ahhhh....he can be taught! If you can keep that in mind Mags you'll understand humans a lot better. A great deal of what they do...like the flowers, baths, soft couches, comfortable clothes has to do with how such things make them feel. As robots we perceive the world through readings and numbers. Texture, temperature, and scent don't make much difference unless they injure us somehow. Humans perceive through senses which impact on their emotions. The degrees of sensation are very subtle and vary greatly between individuals. For example, Lancer's uniform is by far the most durable and protective article of clothing she has. It has synthetic fibers woven into it which make it strong enough to deflect shrapnel, and thin wires which keep it from being destroyed when she uses her powers. She doesn't wear it unless she has to you'll notice because in spite of all those positive qualities it is heavy, a little stiff, and too tight to be really comfortable. When she has a choice she prefers much looser, softer clothing which doesn't make her feel so constrained. The fact that something feels good is far more important to humans than arranging their lives with absolute efficiently. For them, that's not living."

Magnus frowned and splashed at the water pensively for a few minutes. Then he nodded. "I guess that makes some sort of sense," he said.

"Well I'm sure the whole human race is grateful for your approval Major General," Rodimus said. "Now get up! We still obviously have a long way to go!"

He educated his City Commander on the use of a towel and tried to ignore his mate telling Marissa what a lucky girl she was, although Lancer refused to tell Marissa WHY she was lucky. Marissa was both amused and frustrated while Lancer shook her head and giggled helplessly.

Rodimus insisted Magnus get dressed entirely on his own (it took a while) and then finished his tour of the apartment....even going so far as teaching Magnus how to make the bed.

"OK. Hmmm...what else?" Rodimus mused aloud, looking around the place.

You've put it off as long as possible already Love, Lancer sent - along with a mental snicker.

You shut up! Rodimus returned, I was just being thorough!

Uh-huh, Lancer sent back. Really now...if you can't convince yourself of that why would you even try it on me? Face it! YOU are embarrassed!"

Untrue! I was just saving the best for last! Rodimus protested uselessly.

Coward!

I am Not!

Heh....are too! I see all! The only reason you're even arguing with me is to put it off! You KNOW I know!"

OK. Fine! I'm a coward! Just don't tell Marissa the details! She should have to figure this part out on her own. There was enough of a thread of devious mischief running through that particular idea for Lancer to agree to it...although she continued to tease Rodimus for his embarrassment all the way through the following conversation.

"Well?" Magnus asked sharply. He was feeling tired (although he didn't know what that meant) and was beginning to get a bit crabby.

"Sex education, Mags. You're ready for the graduate course now," Rodimus said with perfectly feigned cheerfulness.

Nice work! Lancer sent. He might even buy it that you're not completely uncomfortable with this! I thought you said humans are stupid for having hang ups over sex!

They are...and you've infected me with them! Rodimus accused.

Well! If you'd rather I did it, I volunteer! Lancer sent.

No way! Rodimus answered with fake jealousy. You might decide to demonstrate!

Oooo! Possessive aren't we? Lancer simpered.

Rodimus responded by "reminding" Lancer of how they had spent the previous night and then reminding her that he would be spending THIS night there with Magnus....maybe even several nights. Lancer abruptly quit teasing him.

"Sex?" Magnus was asking. "Isn't that something I should...err...learn with Marissa?"

"Yes you idiot! We aren't going to DO it! We are just going to talk about it so you don't do anything unforgivably stupid!"

"Oh..." Magnus said, "Like what?"

"Just sit down on the bed and listen!" Rodimus snapped.

Magnus complied and waited. And waited.

"Well?!" he asked again.

Rodi coughed. "Well you see...Umm. No. OK! When you get together with Marissa you can expect.... Umm. No. I mean your body will.... Shit! Lancer quit laughing and let me think! No I don't want a manual! A video!? Heck no! Be quiet or I'm going to make you suffer for days! You can too help it! And ummmm...." Rodimus stopped short when he realized from Magnus' expression that that last mental exchange had been spoken aloud.

"Are you going to teach me or argue with Lancer?" Magnus said. He didn't really catch the gist of what had been said but he didn't see what Lancer had to do with any of this.

As an answer Rodimus scowled suddenly and stalked out of the room. "Stay there!" he snapped when Magnus moved to follow. He came back a few moments later with a banana which he put on the dresser. Then he went into the bathroom and came back with a box.

"Are you really sure you still want to go through with this?" he demanded harshly.

"What? Magnus asked.

"Are you sure you can handle everything I showed you so far...including the pain? It can get a lot worse you know." Rodimus said. Magnus was not pleased with Rodi's abrasive tone. It was as though the young Prime was questioning his courage.

"I am fully resolved to see this through. Why are you challenging me again?"

"Because sex is like torture in a way. It's the opposite extreme but it IS extreme....and it can be as hard to handle in a way. You enjoyed the bath...you enjoyed the food...you got fully entranced by a vase of roses. Sex is to that what being tortured is to stubbing your toe. I've been to both extremes Magnus and I'm telling you sex is just as dangerous to your sanity as taking a needle up your spine. Once you've taken that step you will never be the same again. Life as an Autobot will never be the same."

"I can handle it," Magnus vowed.

"Really?!" Rodimus snarled. "How the hell do you know what you can handle? Are you listening to me? Are you thinking? Or are you just ignoring stupid little Hot Rod again? I just told you sex is as devastating as being tortured...AS A HUMAN! I mean what I'm saying! Do you think I mention what the Jabez did to me lightly? They tore me apart! You had a fit over this little cut when I got it," Rodimus accused, waving his bandaged fingertip. He got closer and closer as he yelled until Magnus was leaning away from him in shock. "They cut open my thigh to the bone to take samples of the bone marrow! They injected me with poison to see how long it took me to go critical before they gave me an antidote! I have nightmares and flashbacks and I don't feel pain anymore in robot form! You know that! Now ask yourself if I feel pleasure either! Ask yourself if I feel ANYTHING!"

Magnus stared at Rodimus in horror. He didn't know why it always surprised him when Rodimus let this side of himself show, but it always did. A testimony to the boy's ability to hide it all. He tried to process what Rodimus had told him...tried to imagine what it must be like for both Rodi and for himself. In all honesty, he realized he probably couldn't really imagine feeling NOTHING as a robot in spite of the overwhelming amount of sensation he was getting just sitting on the bed. He couldn't guess... but then he did know one thing. He loved Marissa...and he wanted to be with her. Sex, overwhelming or not was not really the issue. He loved Marissa and wanted to be with her. Simple as that.

"Rodimus....I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through so much...! I know you're afraid for me! But I want this! I...Rodi how can I turn back? I've finally found someone who suits me! I have to make this work no matter how hard it is!"

"What if she dies?"

"WHAT?!"

"I mean it! What if you make love with her and then the worst happens? Huh? What if all your worries about frail little humans come true? Do you think you can face a basically immortal lifetime feeling numb without her?" Rodimus demanded.

Magnus stared at Rodimus a long long time. "I think I'll feel numb without her no matter what form I'm in Rodimus," he whispered finally. His heart was on fire just thinking about.

Rodimus drew back and stared down at him. Then he sighed sadly and nodded. "OK. I'll show you. Just promise me to take it slowly OK? Let your body adjust...let your mind adjust. Wait until you are more used to just normal stimulation before you go that far! I had months to get used to my human form before Lancer and I had sex and it still blew my mind! Not to mention I'm sure Marissa has more experience than Lancer did. I was her first time too."

"Does that matter?" Magnus asked, relieved Rodimus wasn't arguing anymore. The resistance dredged up fears that weren't easily silenced and forced Magnus to think too much about why those same fears were so powerful in his young friend. It wasn't right for someone so young to have suffered to the point that even love terrified him.

"Lots of things get better with practice Magnus. We learned together but if Lancer had made love to me then like she does now, I'm sure I would have gone mad again. Sex is EXCRUCIATING pleasure Magnus. Be careful. Now. How much do you remember from your instruction on human biology?'

"I remember sex is used for procreation, which is why I don't really understand why we even need to talk about this. I'm sure Marissa and I aren't going to have time for offspring and...why are you laughing at me?"

"Catch!" Rodimus said, snickering away and tossing the box at Magnus.

"What is this?" Magnus asked testily.

"It's a box of condoms....they are used for when you want to have sex but NOT children. Open them."

"Why would you want to have sex if you don't want offspring?" Magnus asked, setting Rodi's laughter off again.

"You are hopeless Mags! I just TOLD you sex is pleasurable! You do it for the sensation. You do it to give your partner pleasure too!"

"Your partner? You mean...I can make Marissa feel good this way?!" Magnus asked with obvious interest. Clearly Rodimus now had his undivided attention.

"Yes! Geez Magnus! Even you can't have been so oblivious as to miss the fact humans are obsessed with sex!"

"I thought it all had to do with continuing their species!" Magnus said defensively.

"You are too practically minded Mags. They do it because it's FUN!"

"What is this thing for?" Magnus asked, holding up a square foil package.

"Open it carefully," Rodimus advised.

"I thought I did open it," Magnus complained.

"That was just the box. Open the package carefully. Condoms are fragile."

"Well why don't they make them strong...." Magnus started.

"Because if they were any thicker you wouldn't be able to FEEL as much! Open it!"

Magnus complied and looked dubiously at the flimsy shred of material he found inside. "I have never seen such a useless looking object in all my life," he stated. "With the possible exception of Neon," he amended.

"Trust me, you'll come to like it," Rodimus said. Shut up Lancer! That was NOT a pun! Marissa's going to call an ambulance if you don't stop it! He coughed again. "That useless object goes on your penis when you are ready to have sex. It keeps your sperm contained so that Marissa doesn't get pregnant"

"Oh. Should I try it on?" Magnus asked.

"NOT NOW!" Rodimus said. He coughed again and continued more calmly. "You can't put it on now anyway. You need to ...ummm...you need to have an erection before you can put it on."  
"An erection? What's that exactly?" Magnus wanted to know.

"Well...erm...when you are excited...that is...stimulated properly your penis gets an influx of blood which hardens it and umm...makes it stand up. That's when you put the condom on. It won't work otherwise."

Magnus looked at Rodimus blankly for a minute. Then he brightened. "Oh! That's why your penis looked different when you and Lancer were having sex! You had an erection!"

It was Rodimus' turn to stare blankly at Magnus. He had no idea when Magnus could have possibly seen anything to prompt such a statement but the silence from Lancer's mind was more than ominous.

"Magnus...when...I mean...how..... Magnus...have you been spying on Lancer and me?"

"No you moron! I saw it in the tunnels remember? Vector Sigma showed Jazz and me how you two had intercourse one time. I thought you were trying to get her pregnant. I guess I assumed your penis was different from mine since mine wasn't standing up like that."

"No...no... I was just aroused at that moment. I'd sort of forgotten you'd seen that. Hold on a second Magnus. I..ummm...I need to confer with my mate for a second."

"OK," Magnus said, unconcerned....although he did get impatient when Rodimus took a LOT longer than a second to "confer" with Lancer mentally.

"What was all that about?" he asked when Rodi "rejoined" him.

"Let's just say I needed to remind my sweet Lady of all the reasons why we need Vector Sigma in one piece and leave it at that." Rodimus was not about to tell Magnus Lancer had also had a few ideas about erasing Magnus' memory....and Jazz's too.

"Ahhh...tell her I sympathize. So...when my penis is hard like that, I just stick this little thing on the end?" Magnus asked.

"Huh? NO! It's rolled up! Here, I'll show you...now where did I put that banana?"

"It's on the dresser. Why do you want it? I thought you didn't like food."

"I'm not going to eat it Magnus!" Rodi exclaimed.

"Well I'M not hungry!" Magnus said.

"Magnus I'm going to use it to demonstrate with! What happened to not being so argumentative?"

"Hey! How would I know what you wanted it for?" Magnus growled.

"You just love making my life difficult, don't you? Look, just try to use some imagination here and pretend this is an erect penis OK? You take the condom and roll it down all the way. See? Its not that difficult. You have to be careful because they are thin so you can feel through the latex. If it tears at all it's useless."

"You didn't wear anything when you had sex with Lancer," Magnus observed.

"We didn't have any! Besides...Lancer was told she could never have children because of her powers. Edana is something of a miracle Magnus."

"Oh....so you did it just for the pleasure then?"

"Yes."

"And to make her feel pleasure too?"

"Absolutely," Rodimus said, trying to keep Lancer calm at the same time. She was wavering between hysterical laughter and fury at Vector Sigma. Marissa was just peeved because Lancer wouldn't tell her what was going on.

"How do I know when Marissa feels pleasure?" Magnus asked seriously. "Should I do the same things you did?"

"NO! I mean...Look. Certain points on the female body tend to be sensitive to stimulation but every woman is a bit different. I'm...I'm sure Marissa will let you know what she likes. Just take it easy. Let her teach you, and for Cybertron's sake be gentle! If she's in any way reluctant don't even try it! You are big enough to really hurt her if you aren't careful. "

"Hurt her? Doesn't it always feel good?"

"No. Especially not for women. If they aren't in the mood for it, or if the male doesn't take his time or pay attention to their needs sometimes women don't feel pleasure. Some men even force them into sex. That's rape. Let Marissa call the shots in this regard Magnus...at least until you have lots of experience in knowing what she likes."

"Why can't you just tell me?" Magnus asked. He was feeling a bit nervous.

"Because I've never had sex with Marissa you dope!" Rodimus snapped. Then he sighed and relented a little since the worry was visible on Magnus' face. "Look, I'll see what I can come up with. I know there are plenty of books on the subject. OK Lancer. Go ahead and laugh. I'm looking for a manual after all!"

He sounded so exasperated even Magnus laughed at him.

Rodimus made him dinner which consisted of a warm, smooth substance called soup and more bread with a different kind of cheese melted in the center. The drink was something Rodimus first called "moo-juice" which Magnus eventually learned was really milk. He liked his second meal even better than his first, especially when Rodi let him have more applesauce. At some point during the meal Rodi got up and went to the door. He returned with several books on sex and an embarrassed expression.

They went over some of the basic facts together.

"This is complicated," Magnus said.

"You're only just figuring this out?" Rodimus said tiredly.

Not long after they put the books away, Magnus ready to argue again. He just wasn't sure he was up to the last task Rodimus had in store for him that day.

"I'm not sure I understand what to do," he protested.

"Just lie down and relax," Rodimus said. "Your body knows what to do. Just let it happen."

"But..."

"Magnus don't argue with me. I'm sick of hearing the word 'but'."

"But..."

"That's it. I'm going to hurt you! Lie down already!"

"I'm not ready for this!"

"Go to sleep Magnus," Rodimus ordered.

"How?" Magnus asked.

"I TOLD you..lie down and relax!" Rodimus sighed.

"But that doesn't tell me how to sleep!"

Rodimus glared at Magnus. "Get into that bed immediately," he said in a very flat voice.

Magnus realized another sound would likely result in another of those humiliating maneuvers which always landed him flat on his back. He complied.

"Close your eyes," Rodimus intoned.

Magnus complied, all the while sure it was a waste of time since he had NO idea how to proceed from there.

Rodimus stood over his City Commander and friend and sighed. It had been quite a day for both of them and he was tired. Still, he was somehow irked by how quickly Magnus' snores filled the room.

"He does this just to drive me nuts," Rodimus concluded, and he went off to sleep on the couch.

"Mags! Hey Mags! Wakey wakey big guy! It's time for school!"

The lump on the bed consented to groan a little and twitch.

"Magnus! It's time to get up! Mags! I have to report for duty in a few hours! Come on! Get up!"

Magnus cracked open his eyes ever so slightly and caught a flash of red. He closed them again.

"Ultra Magnus! Get your brain front and center! Heck! I'll just settle for your butt off this bed! Move it! That's an order!"

"Rodimus......" Magnus identified. The name for his tormentor had taken a while to surface.

"Oooo! It's alive! Alive!" Rodi crowed, cackling like a maniac.

"Wha...What's the matter with me? My motor responses are sluggish."

"Your motor responses are the least of it Frankenstein. Get up! I've got to get you set for the day so I can get to my shift on time."

"Your shift?" Magnus asked.

"Yeah. My shift. You know - pushing my little Autobots around, teasing Op, lying to foreign diplomats, hunting slavers, saving the universe...You know...my shift! It starts soon and I want to catch up from babysitting your big carcass yesterday."

"Yesterday...? What happened to today? My chronometer is off-line...! What day is it? What time is it?!" Magnus' voice went from a drowsy drawl to drowsy panic.

"Magnus it's morning! Wake up sleeping beauty!"

"Something's wrong with me! I can't move properly! I can't THINK properly!"

"You're still half-asleep, don't panic! It's normal!" Rodimus assured him, although Magnus could tell he was snickering again.

"My limbs feel heavy, and I can't focus! What happened? If it's morning why don't I remember last night?"

"Because you fell asleep silly! It's not like recharging and you don't have a chronometer anymore! It's normal!"

"My brain feels like I've got a whole section of bad circuits! That's NOT normal!"

"You don't HAVE circuits. You have an electro-chemical organic CPU now and it's under the influence of the chemicals which induce the NORMAL unconscious state known as SLEEP. You will feel better when those chemicals have cleared out more."

"But what happened last night?"

"You slept!"

"Why don't I remember falling asleep? How did I do it?" Magnus cried. He still wanted a step-by-step procedure to cling to.

"You closed your eyes, relaxed, and proceeded snoring loud enough to wake the dead...or at least just me! Quit complaining!" Rodimus growled. He had spent quite a while listening to Magnus snore and wishing he were at home. It didn't help to have Magnus complain when Rodimus knew for a fact the City Commander had an uninterrupted night of rest.

"You mean to tell me humans just completely black out when they sleep? There's no internal record of the time they spent?"

"None.....unless they remember their dreams. I for example had lots of dreams last night involving loud, obnoxious snoring."

"What are you talking about?" Magnus queried testily. He hated it when Rodimus made oblique remarks he sensed were somehow insults.

"Oh never mind!" Rodimus said. "Come get breakfast. I already made it so you could sleep longer."

"Oh...is the length of time important?" Magnus wanted to know...once again curious about his new form.

"Yes and no. The specific amount of sleep you need varies. You have to get enough or your body will get run down...like extreme energy depletion. Like I said, human bodies run a lot on chemicals. Chemicals for motion, chemicals for E-motion. Chemicals for thought and energy. During the day certain chemicals build up as you move around that can become toxic in great amounts. Sleep restores the balance. I figured you might need to sleep a little longer since yesterday was so hard on you. Get up. Do you remember how to get dressed? Lancer dropped off a few more things for you to wear today."

"More...what were they called.... sweat pants?"

"Yes more sweat pants! You can pick out whatever you want if I ever let you out of here to terrify the populace. Put them on," Rodimus said.

Magnus looked doubtfully down at the black suit with the red piping and sighed to himself. He wondered if Lancer realized her color preferences were so transparent. He didn't forget his manners though. "Tell her thank you," he said.

"OK. She says you're welcome as long as you swear never ever to mention what you saw in the tunnels ever again for as long as you live," Rodimus said with a faint smirk.

Magnus looked thoughtfully at his commander, "OK, if that's what she wants but why? Were you doing it wrong or something? Is she ashamed of her performance?"

Whatever Lancer's response to THAT remark was had Rodimus laughing uncontrollably for quite some time. When he finally calmed down he assured Magnus that her desire to keep him quiet was merely do to human customs regarding privacy...which launched Rodimus into a serious lecture on Magnus extending the same courtesy over anything of that nature between him and Marissa. Magnus argued such vows of silence seemed unnecessary for behavior all humans were expected to engage in. Rodimus responded that he agreed but that was the way it was and if he wanted to fit into human society he'd better respect this rule. Magnus only really agreed though when Rodimus pointed out he would be making trouble for Marissa if he went around discussing their sex-lives with anyone.

Breakfast was a sweet astringent liquid called orange juice, heated bread, and a difficult substance called "Cheerios" in milk. Magnus rapidly got frustrated with the little round things falling off his spoon.....but only because he liked them and was craving more. He depleted his first bowl eventually and noted Rodimus was watching him hunt down each and every ring with determination. The young Prime got up without a word and refilled the bowl, leaving the milk and the box on the table. Magnus emptied the bowl and then with great concentration (and his tongue sticking out slightly) he refilled it himself a third time. He ate the toast Rodimus made for him too.

"Magnus...were you still hungry after dinner last night?" Rodimus asked when Magnus finally seemed to slow down a little.

"Umm...I don't know. How do you know when you're hungry?"

"Did you feel satisfied? Were you full?" Rodimus asked.

"Ummm.... I'm not sure," came the hesitant reply.

"OK. Let's try this. Are you feeling full now? More than yesterday? Do you still want more to eat?" Rodimus prompted.

Magnus thought for a second. "I like the bread when its warm."

"It's called toast when its like that. Would you like more? Never mind...I can see you do."

After two more slices and another bowl of cereal, Magnus claimed he was feeling a bit "full".

"Good," Rodimus said. "Do you remember where it all goes? Do you remember where to put dishes when they are dirty?"

"Yes," Magnus said.

"OK. Do it yourself," Rodimus said, although he stayed by to supervise until Magnus was done. "Now what should you do?"

"Umm..." Magnus said, trying to remember.

"Brush your teeth. Every meal has its clean-up and that's part of it Mags," Rodimus said. They went over that and the use of the bathroom again. Magnus felt he could sense when his body needed to use the toilet but he promised Rodimus to err on the side of caution and use it whenever he was in doubt.

"OK. Look, I've got to go but you know where to reach me if you really have to. I've got a lot to do but I'd rather you'd call me than hurt yourself or break something. If worst comes to worst I can send Lancer over to help you. Are you sure you are comfortable with that? I can wait another day or two if you need me too."

That was a lie and Magnus knew it. Rodimus didn't have a day to spare. The City Commander knew full well what a crushing schedule Rodimus kept and knew just as well that Rodimus didn't think it was enough. As long as Sponsor Conversion factories remained open anywhere Rodimus would never think it was enough no matter how much he did. Any time spent away from his duties wore at Rodimus painfully. Magnus was perhaps one of the few that understood that.

"I'll be fine," he assured Rodimus who looked at him worriedly - obviously torn. "Get going! I promise to go running for help at the first sign of trouble."

"You're sure?" Rodi asked.

"LEAVE! I'm tired of your insults and your endless complaining!" Magnus said.

"Oh fine! THERE'S gratitude for you," Rodimus said, stepping out the front door.

Magnus coughed. "Actually...it is. Look...I know how hard it was for you to let me go through with this and ...um...I want you to know how much I appreciate it. You...you are by far the bravest person I know. I know I don't know all you went through but what I DO know staggers my mind. I can't tell you how much I respect you for overcoming it all and coming home to help us....and now you're taking the time just to help me personally. You're a good leader Rodimus...and you're a good friend. Thank you." He shut the door on Rodimus' stunned face before the young Prime could think of a response. As far as Magnus was concerned that was enough embarrassment for one day. 


	5. Chapter 5

Maelstrom Grout

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

This scene contains filler material. It is not a story it is spackle.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored!**

**Maelstrom Grout**

Well now...here's a patch job for ya. There will be a least one more soon.

As previously stated, I originally worked with 2 other people on this story. There are events they wrote, or at least planned which need to be discussed here, and some which is supposed to be my work but isn't done because I'm a goof-ball.

We'll start with that.

Lancer spends nearly a year after being speared in therapy and so forth. She is not cheerful about it and Rodimus bitches a lot about how flipping long it takes humans to heal. Of course if she'd stay home like she's supposed to, she'd heal faster, but about half way through she goes back to living on Maelstrom and helping out on the Slaver raids they do. She comes back for appointments and blinks innocently when asked why the shoulder isn't healing faster.

She and Rodi will never really share quarters, BTW. If the Jabez ever get wind of the Maelstrom working with the Autobots then one or more Sponsor armies will simply eradicate Cybertron. One or two class One telekinetics and you've got yourself a smashed tin can. Plus, Lancer's metabolism makes it hard for her to hide, as seen at the end of issue 9. Most of all though, Edana is empathic and Cybertron is just too "loud" for her, especially as an infant who can't shield yet.

As Rodimus sinks his teeth deeper into the slave trade through Cybertron and the Maelstrom gets more efficient as well, Lancer and Rodimus will be reduced to seeing each other in person maybe 6 times a year. Right now though, she is sticking around for fairly long periods to get work done on her shoulder and to train Elita.

Elita, being no idiot, has decided that they really can't afford for Rodimus to be the only one who does what he does. Eggs in one basket and all...especially when that basket keeps coming back from various slave runner missions nicely mangled. He needs help, and they need someone else who can take over in the not unlikely event he gets his fool ass killed.

Having no intention of letting Elita go human, Lancer designs an exo-suit for herself. It is a full-scale model designed to behave exactly like her actual body, but on a scale where she can actually reach her student. In order to get the range of motion and flexibility she is used to, Lancer takes the first "normal" looking model she is presented and proceeds to tear the armor off it. (This is partly the result of a pet peeve of mine. You know all those lovely, professional sci-fi artists? You know the sort...they draw the males in all sorts of cool space gear, or armor, or whatever...and put all the girls in bikinis. I have decided that is because the girls are so tough. The men need all that protection for their sensitive skin, while the girls shrug off things like cosmic rays, laser fire, the extreme cold of space... Radiation? So? I'm working on my tan!) I will post the model today. I'm doing a color version, but it isn't done yet. See "Trouble" for color scheme. (Black - I know you're all shocked.)

It give most TF's the willies because to them they are basically looking at someone whose had their skin pealed off. She's not naked, she's flayed.

Elita is a very good student BTW...but it takes her longer to learn because 1. She doesn't have a mental link with her teacher. 2. Her teacher is often off world dealing with bad guys.

Once she gets going though, she starts passing along what she's learning to her team. They don't know what they're learning or why, but they aren't complaining! Would have made their time under Shockwave's shadow a bit more interesting certainly. Optimus is fine with all of it except the fact his mate is now joining his partner scaring the shit out of him by walking soundlessly. She finds that amusing so she and Rodi start keeping score. :-) They rate the number of "hits", the best yells, etc. .... Poor Op.

Lancer also acquires a student of a different sort in the form of KC. (This is roomie 2's part of the story. ½ written.)

KC is a latent mutant. Generally, if you are going to actually develop powers they hit you at puberty at the latest. She is in her early 20's and nothing...but an emotional trauma involving one of her snubbed superiors that got passed over as Perceptor's aid, sets her powers off in a moment of panic. He tries to rape her and strangle her. Her powers kick in as she's blacking out. She turns out to be a class 4 metal shaper. (Meaning she can manipulate metal within a 2 mile range as long as she has direct contact through metal.) Her powers awake late, violently, and completely out of control. Think of a power surge through a Transformers circuitry.... She overloads her nervous system and suffers seizures and hallucinations. The nice guy hurting her gets absorbed into the floor which then hardens around him and suffocates him slowly. Then it oozes into his body and out his mouth, nose, and eyes. The next problem is her buddy Jazz, who is wondering why she's late, runs into her quarters and gets melted into the floor too.

Now, Miss KC is in a bit of a state as it is obviously, having been attacked, and then killing her attacker in a most gruesome way. She wants to stop it but has no idea how. When Jazz runs in and becomes one with the floor, she completely flips and is certain she's killed her best friend. They have to isolate her in a ceramic room and feed her with plastic silverware until the overload sickness settles out. (Some mutants go completely nuts at this stage and never come out of it...the general rule is the later your abilities kick in the more traumatic it is when they do. She is a close call, and all of her best friends and support are Transformers who can't be in the room with her.) While she is manic, she can't keep the notion Jazz is just fine in her brain. She flash-back's to the moment she saw him melt down into the floor and can't get past it.

He wasn't really hurt all that seriously...but he needed a whole new set of legs. Rodi teases him about just cutting the floor around him and setting him up as a statue with a nice fountain somewhere. KC can't seem to process that he's really OK...especially since he's not allowed in the room with her till her powers settle down.

So guess who tries going human next...not that he was looking for an excuse or anything. Jazz human is a bit...different from Jazz TF. He is absolutely 100% ADHD. He is over-stimulated, hyper, and completely over the top. It takes him YEARS to settle down - just the sort of thing Rodi is worried about with this process. Jazz wants to try everything, do everything, eat everything... He eats and drinks ridiculous amounts of food in as many bizarre combinations as he can think up. All the stuff he's ever wanted to try, he tries, sometimes when he is supposed to be doing other things. He does eventually settle down, but for the first few weeks especially, Rodimus has to practically leash him to keep him on task - even if they are on a mission. The only time he's his usual cool headed self as a human is when he's helping with KC.

He finds her...um...interesting too. So, in keeping with the dubious example of his other Autobot/human shifting friends, he decides he's in love with KC and sets about driving her nuts. Even as Lancer helps her learn to control her powers and her brain settles down, KC is clear headed enough to know the difference between infatuation (and lust!) and love.

I think that covers it....but I probably forgot something. Stayed tuned for more fabulous spackle as my over-wrought brain cell tries to keep this leaky boat afloat! 


End file.
